Character
Resumes

500+ connections (most deceased). Listed "pencil proficiency" as a core competency. HR flagged his resume. He flagged HR.

World's Best Boss (self-awarded, 9 years running). Resume has 23 spelling errors, all intentionally preserved. Only reference is Dwight. He wrote 4 pages.

Applied to McKinsey. 2,000+ years of cross-functional team leadership. Led a 9-person team through hostile territory. Changed his personal brand from Grey to White mid-career.

Resume is one line long. It's perfect. Cover letter argues against his own hiring. Interview goal: eliminate the position entirely.

Former Jedi with an aggressive career pivot. Known for decisive management style and performance reviews nobody survives.

Built a suit of armor in a cave. With a box of scraps. Invented a new element before lunch. Avengers co-founder. Currently between saves.

Pivoted from vigilante to VC. Due diligence conducted exclusively after dark. Alfred endorsed him for every skill on LinkedIn -- including ones he had to invent.

Magic shows are non-reversible. 100% rebooking rate from terrified parents. Do not contact references. They will contact you.

Self-employed agent of chaos. Arrived at the interview with no appointment, no resume, and a very detailed plan for "restructuring." Security was called. Security did not arrive.

Fit a whole life into 9 hours. Self-proclaimed Sausage King of Chicago. Life moves pretty fast. His resume moves faster.

Ph.D. from Caltech. Co-founded a billion-dollar company. 99.1% purity rate in all deliverables. Currently available for tutoring.

Medal of Honor recipient. Early Apple investor. College football star. Accidentally shaped every major event of the 20th century without meaning to.

Top of class at Hogwarts. Time-Turner certified. Submitted a 47-page resume with appendices. The bibliography had its own bibliography.

Say hello to his little resume. Self-made entrepreneur with zero surviving competitors. Interior decorating budget: unlimited. Subtlety budget: $0.

40+ country visits. Brand partnerships with Aston Martin, Omega, and Tom Ford. Kills it at networking events. Literally.

Harvard Law Review. Passed the bar AND the vibe check. Her chihuahua also submitted a resume. It was better than most applicants'.

Tenured professor with unconventional artifact procurement methods. Office hours: never. Field hours: always. It belongs in a museum.

Disrupted a trillion-dollar industry from 30 feet away. 4x champion. 402 threes in a season. Drafted 7th. The 5 teams that passed are still explaining.

Top salesman 13 out of 17 years. Owns a beet farm rated 'Horrifying' on TripAdvisor. Would die for Michael Scott and has told him this repeatedly.

314 consecutive cases as public defender. Zero preparation. Operates from a strip mall. Better call him.

Served 3 kings. Survived 2 trials. Saved 1 city. Received 0 thanks. Drinks and knows things.