Tony Montana
Import/Export Specialist

Q: Tell us about yourself, Tony.

Tony: What you want to know? I come from nothing. NOTHING. I come to this country with nothing but the shirt on my back and a dream. And now look at me. I got everything. The house, the cars, the tiger — yeah, I got a tiger. You got a tiger? No. So maybe I should be the one interviewing YOU.

Q: What would you say is your greatest strength?

Tony: My word. All I have in this world is my word and my — actually, let me not finish that sentence in a professional setting. My word. I say I'm gonna do something, I do it. I say I'm gonna take over the whole market? I take over the whole market. You want references? I don't got references. My references are... unavailable.

Q: And your greatest weakness?

Tony: I'm too honest. I know everybody says that but with me it's actually a problem. I tell people what I think. My accountant says, 'Tony, you can't say that in a board meeting.' I say, 'What board meeting? I AM the board.'

Q: Where do you see yourself in five years?

Tony: First you get the job. Then you get the office. Then you get the corner office. In five years? I'm running this whole building. Maybe this whole block. You know what, give me three years. I work fast.

Q: How do you handle workplace conflict?

Tony: I don't got conflict. People who have conflict with me... they resolve it very quickly. Usually within one meeting. Sometimes the meeting is short. Very short. But very productive. Nobody has conflict with me twice.

Q: Can you describe your management style?

Tony: Hands-on. Very hands-on. I like to know everything that's happening in my organization at all times. Some people say I'm a micromanager. Those people don't work for me anymore. Now I got a great team. Very loyal. Loyalty is the most important thing in business. You know what happens to people who aren't loyal? They go work somewhere else. That's what happens. Somewhere else.

Q: Tell us about a time you overcame a challenge.

Tony: I came to this country on a BOAT. You know what kind of boat? Not a yacht. Not a cruise ship. A boat full of people who got nothing. And now? I got a yacht. I got TWO yachts. That's the challenge and the overcoming all in one story. You're welcome.

Q: What salary range are you looking for?

Tony: Salary? SALARY? Tony Montana don't work for a salary. I work for equity. Majority equity. Actually, you know what — how much does this company make? ... That's it? I made that in a weekend. In 1983. Let me tell you what we're gonna do. I'm gonna buy this company. How much you want for it?

Q: How do you handle stress?

Tony: I don't get stressed. Stress is for people who don't got power. When you got power, other people get stressed. I'm the one who CAUSES the stress. That's a leadership quality. Look it up.

Q: Do you have any questions for us?

Tony: Yeah. One question. You see this suit? This is Italian. Custom. You know what it cost? More than your car. So my question is: when do I start? Because I already redecorated the office in my head. It's gonna be gold. Everything. Gold desk. Gold chair. Gold pen holder. You're gonna love it. Actually, you're not gonna see it because it's gonna be MY office. But trust me. It's beautiful.

Q: One last question — are you willing to submit to a background check?

Tony: [long pause] ...Define 'background.' You mean like education? Work history? Because I got excellent — you know what, let's skip the background check. I'm a very private person. Very private. What matters is the FUTURE. The future is what counts. The past? The past is another country. Literally, in my case.