Ferris Bueller
Motivational Speaker

Q: Ferris, thank you for being here. Let's start with the basics — what do you do?

Ferris: I help people remember that they're alive. That sounds dramatic, but it's true. Most people go through their entire lives without ever having a perfect day. I've made it my life's work to change that. I teach people how to fit more living into less time. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. I said that when I was 17. I was right then. I'm right now.

Q: What's your greatest achievement?

Ferris: I once convinced an entire city I was the Sausage King of Chicago. That's not a metaphor. I walked into Chez Quis — one of the most exclusive restaurants in the city — and told the maitre d' that I was Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago. He didn't believe me. Then he did. That's my greatest achievement: making people believe something that is objectively ridiculous, simply through confidence and charm. That skill transfers to EVERYTHING.

Q: How do you handle people who don't believe in your philosophy?

Ferris: You mean like Ed Rooney? [laughs] Look, there will always be Ed Rooneys in the world — people whose entire identity is built around enforcing rules they didn't create for reasons they don't understand. I don't fight them. I just live so well that they question everything about their own choices. That's not revenge. That's leadership by example.

Q: Tell us about your time management methodology.

Ferris: Here's the thing most time management gurus get wrong: they try to fit MORE work into less time. I fit more LIFE into less time. On my most famous day off, I visited an art museum, attended a baseball game, ate at a five-star restaurant, sang on a parade float, and had a genuine emotional breakthrough about the nature of friendship — all before 6 PM. No one taught me that. No app tracked it. I just decided that today was going to be extraordinary. That's the method. Decide.

Q: What about your friend Cameron? He seemed reluctant.

Ferris: Cameron is the entire point. Cameron was a person who was so afraid of living that he was basically already dead. He couldn't talk to his dad. He couldn't stand up for himself. He was paralyzed. And in one day — ONE DAY — he kicked a Ferrari into a ravine and decided he was going to stop being afraid. That's not property damage. That's therapy. I didn't ruin Cameron's life. I gave him one. Ask him. He'll admit it. Reluctantly. But he'll admit it.

Q: Some people say you're a bad influence.

Ferris: Some people say a lot of things. Those people are usually sitting in cubicles they hate, eating lunches they didn't choose, going home to watch TV shows about people who are living the lives they wish they had. I'm not a bad influence. I'm an inconvenient reminder that there's another way. That makes some people uncomfortable. That's not my problem. That's their alarm clock.

Q: What's your stance on rules?

Ferris: Rules are important. [pauses] Did that sound convincing? No? Okay, let me try again. Rules are... suggestions made by people who are afraid of what happens when you ignore them. The best things in my life have happened when I ignored a rule. The worst thing that ever happened was... actually, nothing bad has ever happened. So the data supports my position.

Q: How do you keep your energy so high?

Ferris: I genuinely don't understand the question. Why would my energy be low? I'm alive. I'm here. There are things to do and see and people to meet. Every day is a chance to do something amazing. If you need motivation to be excited about being alive, you might be doing it wrong. I don't drink coffee. I don't do energy drinks. I just wake up and remember that today could be the greatest day of my life. Then I make it so.

Q: What would you say to someone who's stuck in a rut?

Ferris: I'd say: call in sick tomorrow. Not because you're sick. Because you're not living. Go to a museum. Eat somewhere you can't afford. Sing in public. Talk to a stranger. Do something that scares your inner Ed Rooney. You don't need a plan. You need a day. One day where you stop being who everyone expects you to be and start being who you actually are. That's my entire consulting practice in one paragraph. You're welcome.

Q: Where do you see yourself in five years?

Ferris: Doing exactly what I'm doing now, but somehow better. The thing about being Ferris Bueller is that it doesn't age out. The philosophy gets MORE relevant as people get older. When you're 17, ditching school is rebellious. When you're 40, ditching work to take your kids to a Cubs game is wisdom. When you're 60, canceling everything to spend a Tuesday doing nothing but living? That's enlightenment. I'm building toward enlightenment. But like, the fun kind.

Q: Any final words for our audience?

Ferris: [looks directly at the camera, breaking the fourth wall] You're still here? It's over. Go home. [pauses] Actually, no. Don't go home. Go somewhere you've never been. Call someone you haven't talked to in years. Order the thing on the menu you can't pronounce. Life is happening RIGHT NOW and you're reading a fictional resume on the internet. I respect the commitment, but — and I say this with love — close the browser and go have a day. Chick-a chick-ahh.