Michael Gary Scott
Leadership Coach • Keynote Speaker • World's Best Boss • Colorado (formerly Scranton)
"Dynamic and emotionaly inteligent leader with 17 years of experience managing a high-performing regional sales team. Recipient of 9 consecutive World's Best Boss awards (self-administred). Passionate about people, paper, and making people feel like there the most important person in the room. Seeking oportunities to share my unique managment philosophy with organizations who value heart, humor, and occasional crying in the stairwell."
[Editor's note: Mr. Scott's resume contained 23 spelling errors. We have preserved them as submitted.]
Proffessional Experience
[sic — heading spelling preserved from original]
Regional Manager
Dunder Mifflin Paper Company • Scranton, PA
1996 – 2011 (17 years of LOVE)
- • Led the #1 branch in sales for 7 out of 17 years — the other 10 years we were building character
- • Managed a diverse team of 15-20 employees with wildly different personalities, all of whom I considered my best friends (except Toby)
- • Organized and hosted 17 consecutive Dundie Award ceremonies, boosting morale by an immeasurable amount
- • Successfully negotiated a merger with the Stamford branch by being the only manager who didn't quit
- • Founded the Michael Scott Paper Company when corporate didn't appreciate me, then sold it back to them when they realized they couldn't live without me
- • Maintained an open-door policy (the door was literally removed from the hinges after the third time Dwight installed a lock)
Founder & CEO
Michael Scott Paper Company • Scranton, PA
2009 (3 glorious weeks)
- • Founded a paper company in the same building as my former employer, operating from the boiler room
- • Recruited 2 employees: one who believed in me (Pam) and one who was between jobs (Ryan)
- • Acquired 9 clients through a combination of personal charm and significantly lower prices
- • Negotiated a buyout by Dunder Mifflin within 3 weeks, proving that sometimes the best way to get your job back is to threaten to destroy the company from the inside
- • Exit strategy: get rehired. Executed flawlessly.
Improv Comedy Performer
Sweeney Todd Improv Group • Scranton, PA
2001 – 2011
- • Character performer specializing in Michael Scarn (spy) and Prison Mike (ex-convict)
- • Written, directed, and starred in "Threat Level Midnight," an independent film completed over 11 years
- • Key takeaway: improv teaches you to say "yes, and" — which is also my approach to management, budgeting, and restraining orders
Awards & Recognitions
World's Best Boss
Self-Awarded (purchased mug as proof)
World's Best Boss
Self-Awarded (second mug)
World's Best Boss
Self-Awarded (upgraded to travel mug)
Dundie for Best Boss
The Dundie Awards (self-produced)
World's Best Boss
Self-Awarded (consecutive)
Dundie for Longest Reigning Dundie Host
Self-Awarded
World's Best Boss
Self-Awarded (6th consecutive)
Scranton Business Journal '40 Under 40'
Submitted own nomination. Was 46.
Lifetime Achievement in Regional Management
Self-Awarded at farewell party
Core Competancies
[sic]
That's What She Said (Timing)
World-class timing on double entendres. Has never missed an opportunity. HR has documented over 1,400 instances.
Improvisational Management
Management style best described as 'making it up as you go but with heart.' No two days are the same. No two hours are the same. Sometimes the same hour is not the same.
Conference Room Booking
Has booked the conference room for meetings about meetings, meetings about parties, parties disguised as meetings, and one Dundie Awards ceremony that resulted in a DUI.
Motivational Speaking
Delivered over 200 motivational speeches to a captive audience of 15-20 employees. Topics include: 'How to Be Your Own Best Friend,' 'Why I Am Your Best Friend,' and 'You Miss 100% of the Shots You Don't Take — Wayne Gretzky — Michael Scott.'
Conflict Resolution
Has resolved zero conflicts. Has started approximately 340. But every single one came from a place of love. Or loneliness. Or both.
Party Planning Committee Oversight
Successfully managed a Party Planning Committee despite never being invited to join. Overrode their decisions 100% of the time. Employee satisfaction with parties: mixed.
Cover Letter
Written on Dunder Mifflin letterhead (he still has boxes of it)
Dear Sir or Madame or Other,
My name is Michael Scott, and I am writting to you because I belive I am the perfect canditate for your Leadership Coach posision. I know what your thinking — "Michael, your just a paper salesman from Scranton." And to that I say: your wrong. I am a REGIONAL MANAGER from Scranton. Theres a diffrence.
For 17 years, I managed the most succesful branch of Dunder Mifflin. Was it always easy? No. Did people always appriciate me? Also no. Did Toby try to ruin everything constantly? Yes. But through it all, I never stoped caring. I never stoped trying. And I never stoped doing improv in the conference room even when noone wanted me to.
What makes me a great leadership coach is that I understand people. I understand that Stanley needs his crossword puzzles. I understand that Dwight needs to feel like he's second in command even though thats not a real thing. I understand that Kevin needs... honestly, I'm not sure what Kevin needs. But I love him.
I also have experience in keynote speaking. I once gave a speach at a Dunder Mifflin regional conference that made everyone cry. It was a good cry. Mostly. Some of them were crying because I accidently unpluged the projector during my PowerPoint but the emotion was real.
In conclussion, I would like to qoute the great Wayne Gretzky, who once said: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." — Wayne Gretzky.
— Michael Scott.
Warmly and with all of my heart,
Michael Gary Scott
P.S. — I am also availible for birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, and funerals (I am very good at funerals). P.P.S. — Please don't contact Toby Flenderson for a reference. He is the worst.
LinkedIn Endorsements & Recommendations
Dwight K. Schrute
Assistant (to the) Regional Manager, Dunder Mifflin Scranton"Michael Gary Scott is the greatest manager, leader, and human being I have ever known. I would follow him into battle. I have followed him into battle — the Battle of Schrute Farms paintball tournament of 2009, where he led our team to a decisive 4th-place finish. His strategic mind is rivaled only by his enormous heart. I did not write this because he asked me to. I wrote this because I wanted to. He also asked me to. But I wanted to first. FACT: Michael Scott is the best boss in the history of bosses. Signed, Dwight Kurt Schrute III, Beet Farmer, Paper Salesman, Volunteer Sheriff's Deputy."
[No other endorsements]
—"HR reached out to all other Dunder Mifflin employees for endorsements. Responses included: 'No' (Stanley), 'I'd rather not' (Oscar), 'Is this mandatory?' (Phyllis), silence (Ryan), nervous laughter (Kevin), and a 4-page single-spaced letter that was ultimately about cats (Angela). Toby submitted one but Michael deleted it."
Letter of Recommendation from Dwight K. Schrute
Schrute Farms Letterhead • Beet Capital of Northeastern Pennsylvania
To Whom It May Concern (and it should concern you greatly):
I, Dwight Kurt Schrute III, Assistant Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton (a title I have held in spirit if not in HR documentation), am writing to recommend Michael Gary Scott for any position he desires. Up to and including President of the United States. He would be good at that too.
Michael Scott is a leader in the truest sense of the word. He leads from the front, the back, the side, and sometimes from under his desk during fire drills. His courage is unquestionable. I once saw him eat a entire family-size chicken pot pie in one sitting to prove a point about commitment. The point was unclear. The commitment was not.
Under Michael's leadership, the Scranton branch became the #1 branch in the company. Was this because of Michael? YES. Was it also because I, Dwight Schrute, was the top salesman every year? ALSO YES. But a great leader creates great soldiers, and I am Michael's greatest soldier. I would die for him. I have told him this. He asked me to stop saying it in meetings. But I have not stopped meaning it.
Michael Scott does not just manage people. He LOVES people. He loves them so much it makes them uncomfortable. He loves them at inappropriate times, in inappropriate settings, and with an intensity that multiple HR representatives have described as "concerning." But concern is just love wearing a suit. And Michael Scott is love. In a suit. A Men's Wearhouse suit, specifically.
If you do not hire Michael Scott, you are making the biggest mistake of your professional life. I will know if you do not hire him. I have my ways.
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. And Michael Scott.
Dwight K. Schrute III
Assistant Regional Manager, Dunder Mifflin Scranton
Owner, Schrute Farms Bed & Breakfast (rated "Horrifying" on TripAdvisor)
Volunteer Sheriff's Deputy, Lackawanna County
Interview Transcript
Conducted at the Radisson, Scranton. Interviewee brought a World's Best Boss mug as a visual aid. Attempted to begin the interview with an improv exercise. Interviewer declined.
Q: Michael, thank you for coming in. Tell us about your management philosophy.
Michael: Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. That's my whole thing. When I walk into a room, I want people to think, 'Oh no, here comes Michael, he's going to make me feel something and I'm not ready.' That's leadership.
Q: Can you describe your leadership style in one word?
Michael: I can describe it in one word: I am a great leader. Wait, that's more than one word. Okay, one word: beyondcategorization. That's one word if you say it fast enough.
Q: What's your biggest strength?
Michael: My biggest strength is my weaknesses. Because I have so many of them that I've become immune. It's like... I'm a vaccine. My weaknesses ARE my strengths because I've had so much practice with them. Also, I'm really good at parties.
Q: Tell us about a time you handled a crisis at work.
Michael: One time there was a fire. A real fire. And I yelled 'EVERYBODY STAY CALM! STAY [EXPLETIVE] CALM!' and then I tried to save the accounting department by throwing a printer out a window. The fire turned out to be a drill. Set by Dwight. But my response was TEXTBOOK. If anything, the building wasn't ready for my level of crisis leadership.
Q: How do you motivate your team?
Michael: I once promised the entire office a plasma TV if they hit their sales target. They hit it. I got them a 15-inch LCD from Best Buy that was on clearance. Was I technically lying? Maybe. But did they learn a valuable lesson about managing expectations? Also maybe. The point is, they came together as a team, and THAT is the real plasma TV. [Long pause.] I also do pizza parties.
Q: What are your qualifications for being a leadership coach?
Michael: I have a certificate from an online university. I won't say which one, but it rhymes with 'Schmuniversity of Schmonline Schmucation.' I also have 17 years of real-world management experience at Dunder Mifflin, which is the Harvard of paper companies. Also, I watch a LOT of TED Talks. Like, a lot. I once watched 14 in a row and then gave one in the conference room that nobody came to.
Q: Why did you leave Dunder Mifflin?
Michael: [Gets emotional] I didn't leave Dunder Mifflin. Dunder Mifflin left... no. I left. For love. I moved to Colorado for Holly. Holly Flax. She's my wife. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. Don't print that — Dunder Mifflin was the best thing that ever happened to me. Print both. Can you print both? Print that they're tied.
Q: One final question. What would you say to a young manager just starting out?
Michael: [Stands up. Walks to window. Stares out dramatically.] I would say... [long pause] ...don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason whatsoever. [Turns back.] Write that down. That's gold.
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
— Wayne Gretzky
— Michael Scott
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