Group Chat #9
Dunder Mifflin Group Chat 📎
Michael creates side chats for every possible friend group. Dwight reports everyone to corporate. Jim screenshots everything. Creed thinks this is a banking app. Nobody is doing any work.
Dunder Mifflin Scranton — PARTY PLANNING + WORK
Michael, Dwight, Jim, Pam, Stanley, Kevin, Oscar, Angela, Toby, Creed
Good morning everyone!! Welcome to the official Dunder Mifflin Scranton group chat! This is a place for fun, friendship, and also I guess work stuff. Mainly fun though.
Michael, I need to be made admin. As Assistant Regional Manager, I should have the ability to remove people from this chat for insubordination.
Assistant TO the Regional Manager.
MICHAEL.
Now now, we\'re all equals here. Except me. I\'m the boss. And your friend. Your boss friend. Your friend boss.
It\'s not even 9 AM. I have not consented to being in this chat.
Stanley you have to be here! It\'s mandatory fun!
Those two words should never be next to each other.
Hey does anyone know if the vending machine on 2 has the good pretzels today? Also I dropped my chili again. Please don\'t come to the kitchen.
Kevin, this is the third time this month.
The pot is slippery, Oscar. It\'s not my fault. The handles are too small for my hands.
I need everyone to know that the Party Planning Committee has NOT approved this group chat. All party-related communications should go through the OFFICIAL Party Planning Committee email, which I control.
Angela, this IS the party planning channel!
No. This is chaos. My channels have agendas. And tasteful color-coded spreadsheets.
Michael, you\'ve created four separate group chats in the last five minutes. I\'m in three of them. Why.
Different chats for different vibes, Jim. Some things you can\'t say in front of everyone. Like how Toby is the worst.
Michael, I can see this message. This is the main chat.
Oh God. Why are you here, Toby? Who invited you?
You did. You added the entire office.
Worst mistake of my life. And I\'ve made a LOT of mistakes.
ATTENTION: I have forwarded this entire chat thread to corporate as evidence of time theft. You are all technically stealing from the company by chatting during work hours. Except Michael, who is exempt as regional manager.
Dwight, you just spent 45 minutes in this chat. You\'re reporting yourself.
I was monitoring. That\'s different. That\'s security.
Friendly reminder that there are actual customers calling and I am the only one answering the phone right now.
You\'re doing amazing sweetie
What website is this? I thought this was my banking app.
Get Glen's Musings
Occasional thoughts on AI, Claude, investing, and building things. Free. No spam.
Unsubscribe anytime. I respect your inbox more than Congress respects property rights.