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Open to Work

Character Resume

John Wick
Freelance Problem Solver

"People keep asking if I'm back. Yeah, I'm thinking I'm back. Also, I updated my LinkedIn."

500+ connections (most deceased). Continental Hotel VIP. A man of focus, commitment, and sheer will.

300+
Engagements
12
Countries
100%
Resolution Rate
1
Pencil Needed

About

Professional Summary

I am a focused professional with extensive experience in conflict resolution and client-facing engagements. After a brief period of retirement — during which I lost something very important to me — I returned to the workforce with renewed purpose and have since completed over 300 successful engagements across multiple continents. I am known for my efficiency, my dedication, and my ability to solve problems that others consider impossible. I work best alone, though I maintain a strong professional network through the Continental Hotel system. I am currently open to new opportunities, provided they do not involve harming dogs.

Professional Experience

Career History

From organized crime to freelance work, with a brief and unsuccessful detour into retirement.

Freelance Problem Solver

Self-Employed (International)

2014 - Present

New York, NY / Global

  • Completed 300+ client engagements across 12 countries with a 100% resolution rate
  • Developed signature methodology using unconventional tools (pencils, books, horses, library books)
  • Maintained Continental Hotel VIP membership with full access to global hospitality network
  • Built and maintained professional reputation that precedes physical arrival by approximately 30 minutes
  • Managed complex multi-stakeholder situations involving competing interests and occasional gunfire
  • Consistently delivered results under extreme time pressure and adverse conditions

Retired Professional (Attempted)

Private Residence — Suburban New Jersey

2010 - 2014

New Jersey

  • Successfully transitioned to full retirement for approximately 3.5 years
  • Focused on home renovation, classic car restoration, and companion animal care
  • Maintained zero professional engagements during this period (verified)
  • Retirement ended abruptly due to an incident involving a 1969 Ford Mustang Mach 1 and a beagle puppy
  • Lesson learned: retirement is temporary when someone makes it personal

Senior Associate — Conflict Resolution

The Continental Hotel Network (Retained)

1995 - 2010

New York, NY / International Assignments

  • Served as the organization's most requested specialist for high-difficulty assignments
  • Earned the designation 'Baba Yaga' — a professional title denoting elite operational capability
  • Completed the 'impossible task' that secured permanent VIP status within the Continental network
  • Maintained relationships with key stakeholders including Winston, The Bowery King, and The Elder
  • Zero complaints filed against performance (all complainants are unavailable for comment)

Junior Associate — Security Operations

Viggo Tarasov Organization

1990 - 1995

New York, NY

  • Entry-level position in private security and client relations
  • Rapidly promoted based on exceptional performance metrics
  • Developed foundational skills in close-quarters problem solving
  • Established professional network that would later become the foundation of an independent career
  • Departed on mutually agreed terms (Viggo agreed; he had no choice)

Skills & Endorsements

Core Competencies

Exceptional at everything lethal. Catastrophic at everything domestic.

Pencil ProficiencyLegendary
Conflict Resolution (Direct)World-Class
Tactical DrivingExpert
Close-Quarters EngagementExpert
Multi-Lingual CommunicationFluent in 4+
Dog Care & WelfareNon-Negotiable
Suit Maintenance (Under Duress)Remarkable
RetirementFailed
Letting Things GoNon-Existent
Work-Life BalanceCatastrophic

Recommendations

What Others Say

All endorsements given voluntarily. Probably.

"Jonathan is, without question, the most capable professional I have ever had the privilege of knowing. He is a man of focus, commitment, and sheer will. I have seen him do things with a pencil that would make an engineer weep. He honors every agreement, respects every rule — until those rules fail to protect what he loves. Then the rules become suggestions. I endorse him completely. And I say that knowing full well what that endorsement may unleash."

Winston

Manager, The Continental Hotel — New York

"JOHN WICK. [stands up from chair] THIS MAN. This man walked into my operation, bleeding from seven places, wearing a suit that cost more than my building, and asked for HELP. And you know what? I gave it to him. Because when John Wick asks for help, the alternative is that he doesn't ask. And that's worse. For everyone. He is the single most effective human being on this planet. I say that with zero hyperbole and mild terror."

The Bowery King

CEO, Underground Logistics Network

"Mr. Wick is the ideal guest. He is polite. He is punctual. He tips generously. He treats the staff with dignity and respect. He also, on three separate occasions, has returned to the hotel covered in what I can only describe as 'evidence of a very productive evening.' We do not ask questions. We provide fresh towels. He is, in every sense of the word, a professional."

Charon

Concierge, The Continental Hotel — New York

Frequently Asked Questions

What are John Wick's primary professional skills?

John Wick's resume lists pencil proficiency, conflict resolution, tactical driving, close-quarters engagement, and dog care as core competencies. His pencil skills are rated 'Legendary' — a designation that has never been applied to office supplies before.

Is John Wick currently available for hire?

According to his LinkedIn profile, John Wick is 'Open to Work' — though his definition of 'work' differs significantly from most professionals. He is available for freelance engagements provided they do not involve harming dogs.

Why did John Wick come out of retirement?

John Wick's resume indicates his retirement ended due to 'an incident involving a 1969 Ford Mustang Mach 1 and a beagle puppy.' His subsequent return to the workforce resulted in 300+ completed engagements across 12 countries.

"I once saw him kill three men in a bar with a pencil. A pencil. Who does that?"

— Viggo Tarasov, Former Employer

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