Shrek
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (this article is protected due to a record-setting edit war)
🔒 This article has been fully protected following 847 reverts between users Shrek_Swamp and DonkeyBFF over whether the opening sentence should include the phrase “and my best friend.” This is the most-reverted article in Wikipedia history, surpassing the Oxford Comma article by 535 reverts.
Shrek
Shrek is an ogre AND MY BEST FRIEND!!! who lives in a swamp WITH ME (DONKEY) WHO IS HIS BEST FRIEND in the kingdom of Far Far Away. [neutrality disputed by everyone]
Shrek is known for his terrible hygiene commitment to natural living, his frightening appearance distinctive looks, and his anger issues passion for privacy.
He has been compared to an onion, in that he has layers. [self-sourced] He has not been compared to a cake, despite cakes also having layers, because “nobody asked you, Donkey.” [direct quote]
Relationships
⚠️ DISPUTED — 847 REVERTSVersion A (Shrek_Swamp):
Shrek lives with his wife Fiona and their children. He also knows a donkey.
Version B (DonkeyBFF):
Shrek lives with his wife Fiona, their children, and HIS BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, Donkey, who is ALWAYS welcome at the swamp (even though Shrek says he's not, he IS, because one time Shrek SMILED when Donkey showed up and Donkey SAW IT and you can't take that back!!!).
Version C (PrincessFiona, mediation attempt):
Shrek lives with his wife Fiona, their children, and their friend Donkey, who visits regularly.
[Version C lasted 43 seconds before both parties edited it simultaneously.]
The Onion Metaphor
Shrek has stated that “ogres are like onions” because “they have layers.” [original research]
User DonkeyBFF has noted that parfaits also have layers, and “everybody loves parfaits.” This comparison was rejected by the article subject.
User DonkeyBFF has further noted that cakes have layers. This was also rejected. User DonkeyBFF's Talk page rights have been temporarily revoked for “excessive layer-based analogies.”
HEdit History (showing 14 of 847 reverts)
Created article. Content: 'Shrek is an ogre. He lives in a swamp. Leave him alone.'
“This is all anyone needs to know.”
Added: 'Shrek is an ogre AND MY BEST FRIEND!!!'
“He forgot the most important part!!!”
Reverted. Removed 'AND MY BEST FRIEND!!!'
“No.”
Re-added: 'AND MY BEST FRIEND!!!'
“But Shrek we ARE best friends!!!”
Reverted. Added note: 'Donkey, get off my page.'
“GET. OFF. MY. PAGE.”
Added entire section: 'Shrek's Best Friend (Donkey)' — 4,000 words
“I have a lot of feelings about our friendship and they deserve documentation!!!”
Semi-protected page. Warned both users.
“This is the 47th revert in 15 minutes. Both users need to use the Talk page.”
Attempted mediation. Added balanced intro: 'Shrek is an ogre who lives in a swamp with his wife Fiona, their children, and their friend Donkey.'
“Can we all please agree on this?”
Changed 'friend' to 'BEST friend (soulmate) (life partner in adventure)'
“Friend is too casual for what we have!!!”
Changed 'friend Donkey' to 'an annoying donkey who will not leave'
“More accurate.”
Reverted both. Added: 'I am trying to HELP.'
“You are both impossible.”
Added: 'Shrek is a menace who stole Lord Farquaad's bride and should be classified as an invasive species'
“Setting the record straight.”
Reverted. Added: 'Lord Farquaad is 4'6" and this is relevant.'
“Facts.”
Added: 'Shrek is immune to the Puss in Boots puppy-dog eyes, a feat no other being has accomplished'
“This is noteworthy and should be in the article.”
TTalk Page: “The Best Friend Dispute”
Archived 12 times. Keeps getting reopened by DonkeyBFF.
Admin_FairyGodmother
This article has been reverted 847 times in a single week. This is a new Wikipedia record, surpassing the previous record held by the 'Oxford Comma' article (312 reverts). I am requesting a full lock.
DonkeyBFF
Okay but hear me out. What if we compromise. What if it says 'Shrek is an ogre and Donkey is his best friend.' See? Perfectly balanced. Everybody wins. Especially me because I'm in the first sentence!!!
Shrek_Swamp
No.
DonkeyBFF
Shrek PLEASE. I stayed up all night writing a section about our friendship. It has subheadings. It has a TIMELINE. I made a CHART of our bonding moments. I have REFERENCES.
Shrek_Swamp
Ogres are like onions. We have layers. None of those layers include a friendship timeline with a chart.
DonkeyBFF
You know what else has layers?? FRIENDSHIP. Boom. I just proved my point. Add the section.
PrincessFiona
I am begging both of you to stop. I have tried to mediate this dispute seven times. Each time it has gotten worse. The last attempt ended with Donkey adding 4,000 words and Shrek replacing the entire article with the word 'NO.' I am going to go live in a tower again.
GingerbreadMan
Not my gumdrop buttons! But also, can someone add a section about me? I feel underrepresented.
🧅 Administrator Notice
This article has been indefinitely protected. User DonkeyBFF has been restricted to 1 edit per day on any Shrek-related article. User Shrek_Swamp has been warned that replacing an entire article with the word “NO” is not a valid editorial practice. User PrincessFiona has been awarded a “Wikipedia Barnstar for Attempted Mediation Under Impossible Conditions.” We are also awarding one to ourselves.
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