Batman / Bruce Wayne
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (these are two separate articles about two separate people who are definitely not the same person)
⚠️ A merge has been proposed for articles “Batman” and “Bruce Wayne.” The proposal has been rejected 23 times. Every rejection comes from IP address 172.16.██.██, registered to Wayne Tower, Gotham City. The response time averages 3 minutes and 47 seconds. The Wayne Foundation Legal Department insists this is a coincidence.
Batman
Batman is a masked vigilante who operates in Gotham City. His true identity is unknown. [citation needed]
Height: 6'2”
Build: Muscular
Jawline: Distinctive
Vehicles: Batmobile (custom)
Base: Unknown (definitely not under any manor)
Funding: Unknown (definitely not a billionaire's fortune)
Bruce Wayne
Bruce Wayne is a billionaire philanthropist who lives in Gotham City. He is not Batman. [self-sourced]
Height: 6'2”
Build: Muscular (from “charity polo”)
Jawline: Identical to Batman's (coincidence)
Vehicles: Many expensive cars (none of them are the Batmobile)
Residence: Wayne Manor (which does not have a cave under it)
Night activities: Charity galas (every single night, apparently)
Evidence For Merge (All Rejected by Wayne Foundation Legal)
1. Same height, weight, build, and jawline — “Many men in Gotham are 6'2” with strong jawlines.” — Wayne Foundation Legal
2. Wayne Enterprises R&D patents match Batman's equipment — “Wayne Enterprises sells to many clients. We cannot control who buys grappling hooks.”
3. Batman and Bruce Wayne have never been seen in the same room — “Mr. Wayne is very busy. He cannot attend every vigilante sighting.”
4. The Batcave entrance is under Wayne Manor — “Many old mansions have caves. This is a geological feature, not evidence.”
5. Robin lives at Wayne Manor — “Mr. Wayne has adopted several children. They enjoy acrobatics as a hobby.”
HEdit History
Proposed merge: 'Batman' and 'Bruce Wayne' — these are clearly the same person
“Come on. He disappears every night. Batman appears every night. The chin is identical.”
Reverted merge proposal
“This is defamatory speculation. Mr. Wayne is a philanthropist. Batman is a vigilante. They are different people. — Wayne Foundation Legal Department”
Re-proposed merge with additional evidence: 'Same jawline. Same height. Same voice modulator. Batcave is literally under Wayne Manor.'
“I have photos. The Batmobile was parked at Wayne Enterprises last Tuesday.”
Reverted. Filed DMCA takedown on 'photos'
“Those photos are doctored. Mr. Wayne was at a charity gala that evening. — Wayne Foundation Legal”
Added to Talk page: a polite 3-paragraph explanation of why Bruce Wayne is not Batman
“I felt a measured response was warranted. Master Wayne was unavailable for comment. He is at a charity event.”
Added: 'I have worked with Batman for 20 years and have never once looked under the mask.'
“I have chosen not to investigate this matter. Officially.”
Added: 'EVERYONE knows it's Bruce Wayne. This is the worst kept secret in Gotham. I've literally been to the Batcave. TWICE.'
“HAHAHAHAHAHA”
Reverted. Response time: 47 seconds.
“The claims of known criminal 'The Joker' do not constitute reliable sources per WP:RS. — Wayne Foundation Legal”
Accidentally edited the Batman page while logged into the Wayne Foundation VPN
“Just fixing a typo—oh no.”
Reverted and deleted edit log entry. Issued statement: 'Wayne Foundation employees sometimes research Batman for security purposes.'
“This proves nothing. Many organizations monitor vigilante activity. — Wayne Foundation Legal (URGENT)”
Added to Bruce Wayne article: 'Wayne Enterprises R&D division has no connection to Batman's equipment.'
“The Batmobile uses a completely different engine than the one I designed. Completely different. Ignore the patent numbers.”
TTalk Page: “Proposed Merge: Batman + Bruce Wayne”
Proposed 23 times. Rejected 23 times. Average rejection response time: 3m 47s.
AlfredPennyworth
Good evening. I am writing to address the recurring suggestion that Master Wayne and the vigilante known as Batman are the same individual. I can assure you, with the full weight of my decades of service to the Wayne family, that Master Wayne is a philanthropist, socialite, and occasional playboy who spends his evenings at charity galas, not leaping between rooftops. The suggestion is, frankly, absurd. Master Wayne has a terrible fear of bats. He told me so himself. Just now. When I asked him. For no particular reason.
GothamCitizen_47
Alfred, you are writing this from a Wayne Manor IP address at 11 PM on a night when Batman was just spotted three blocks from Wayne Manor. Also, your username is AlfredPennyworth. You are literally Bruce Wayne's butler.
AlfredPennyworth
I serve many clients. The Pennyworth family has a long tradition of domestic service. I could be any Pennyworth. The IP address is a coincidence. Wayne Manor has excellent Wi-Fi and it sometimes extends to neighboring properties.
TheJoker_HAHA
I have thrown Bruce Wayne off a building AND shot at Batman, and they reacted the same way. Same duck. Same roll. Same annoyed grunt. IT'S THE SAME GUY. Also his 'playboy' persona is SO obviously fake. Nobody is that boring on purpose.
WayneFoundation_PR
We would like to remind all editors that statements from incarcerated criminals do not meet Wikipedia's reliability standards. Furthermore, the Wayne Foundation Legal Department is prepared to pursue defamation claims against any editor who merges these articles. This is not a threat. It is a legal notification. Sent from Wayne Tower. At 1 AM. When Batman is currently active. Which is a coincidence.
Commissioner_Gordon
I have been asked directly whether I know Batman's identity. I do not. I have never looked under the mask. I have never noticed that Batman and Bruce Wayne are never in the same room. I have never connected the dots between Wayne Enterprises R&D and Batman's equipment. I am a detective. I detect nothing. This is my official position.
Admin_Oracle
As a Wikipedia admin and someone with no connection whatsoever to anyone involved in this dispute, I am locking both articles and rejecting the merge proposal. The evidence is circumstantial. The IP addresses prove nothing. The identical jawlines prove nothing. I am definitely not Barbara Gordon. This discussion is closed.
🦇 Administrator Notice
The merge proposal has been permanently rejected. Wikipedia acknowledges that the circumstantial evidence is “overwhelming,” the IP addresses are “suspicious,” and the Wayne Foundation Legal Department's response time is “implausibly fast.” However, the admin handling this case (Admin_Oracle) has determined that no merge will occur. When asked about potential conflicts of interest, Admin_Oracle stated: “I am definitely not Barbara Gordon and I definitely do not live in a clock tower in Gotham.” The case is closed.
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