Spotify Wrapped 2025
Captain Jack Sparrow's
Spotify Wrapped
62,000 minutes of listening. 40,000 of those while unconscious. 98% sea shanties. Guilty pleasure: My Heart Will Go On, which he blames on a cursed compass, a ghost, and the Kraken. His playlist is called Songs to Commandeer Ships To and it has been played during an actual commandeering.
Your Top Songs
Sparrow's Top 5
Every song is either about the sea, about drinking, or both. Except the Piña Colada Song, which he considers a "tactical asset."
Drunken Sailor
Traditional / The Irish Rovers
What do you do with a drunken sailor? Apparently you give him a Spotify account and he plays this song 3,102 times. Jack considers this his autobiography in musical form. He once tried to get Spotify to change the artist credit to “Captain Jack Sparrow & The Irish Rovers” and was declined. He then tried to commandeer Spotify’s headquarters. He was also declined. He stole a desk lamp on the way out.
Rum
The Chats
A punk rock song simply called “Rum.” Jack discovered it on Spotify’s “Discover Weekly” and immediately declared The Chats to be “the finest musicians of any century.” He has no idea what punk rock is. He does not care. The song is about rum. That’s all he needed. He tried to book The Chats for a concert on the Black Pearl but they are based in Australia and do not take bookings via message in a bottle.
A Pirate's Life for Me
Disney Parks (Ride Version)
The Disney Parks ride version. On loop. Jack does not understand what Disney Parks is. He does not understand what a theme park ride is. He just knows that someone made a song about his exact lifestyle and it’s catchy. He has attempted to collect royalties and has been informed that the song predates him. He disputes this. Barbossa also listens to this song but refuses to admit they have anything in common.
Ocean Man
Ween
Ocean Man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land that you understand. Jack considers this a “navigational hymn.” He plays it while standing at the helm of the Black Pearl staring dramatically at the horizon. Gibbs once pointed out that the song is from the SpongeBob SquarePants movie. Jack did not know what SpongeBob was. Gibbs tried to explain. Jack walked away mid-sentence. He still plays the song.
Escape (The Piña Colada Song)
Rupert Holmes
If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. Jack likes both of these things. He also likes getting lost at sea, which the song does not mention but which Jack considers an implied verse. He once sang this song in its entirety during a sword fight. His opponent was so confused that Jack won. He considers this proof that the song has “tactical applications.”
Your Top Artists
A Crew of Musical Legends
The Irish Rovers
4,200 plays. Jack considers them the greatest naval musicians of all time. They are not naval musicians. They are Irish folk musicians. Jack does not recognize the distinction.
The Chats
2,800 plays. Exclusively the song Rum. Jack has not explored their other discography. He does not need to. The song is called Rum. What more could a man want.
Disney Parks Soundtracks
2,100 plays. A Pirate’s Life for Me on infinite repeat. He also accidentally discovered the It’s a Small World soundtrack and played it once. He described it as “the most terrifying thing he’s ever heard” and he once fought a kraken.
Ween
1,500 plays. Ocean Man only. He does not know what Ween’s other songs are about and he does not want to find out. “Some mysteries are best left at sea.”
Celine Dion
400 plays. He will deny this. He will deny this to his grave. My Heart Will Go On is in his listening history and he has blamed it on “a ghost” and “the compass acting up” and “a cursed Spotify algorithm.” Gibbs knows the truth.
Full Breakdown
The Complete Wrapped
Top Genre
Sea Shanties (98%)
98% of Jack’s listening is sea shanties. The remaining 2% is a mix of “accidental plays” (Celine Dion), “tactical music” (The Piña Colada Song), and a 14-minute ambient ocean sounds track that Spotify categorizes as “New Age” but Jack insists is “just the sea, mate.”
Minutes Listened
62,000 (40,000 while passed out)
Of Jack’s 62,000 minutes of listening, approximately 40,000 occurred while he was unconscious. Spotify’s algorithm detected extremely consistent listening patterns between 2 AM and 11 AM with zero interaction. The music just... played. Jack insists he was “listening with his soul” while asleep. His crew confirms he was simply drunk.
Listening Personality
Chaotic Seafarer
Spotify’s algorithm generated a new personality type for Jack: Chaotic Seafarer. Characteristics include: pressing play and not touching the app for 14 hours, adding songs to 7 different playlists simultaneously, following artists and unfollowing them within minutes, and occasionally streaming from geographical coordinates that don’t appear on any map.
Most Replayed Song
Drunken Sailor
3,102 plays. Jack’s single-day record was 87 consecutive plays during a storm where the crew was bailing water and Jack was at the helm singing along. When asked to help bail water, Jack explained that music improves morale and therefore he was contributing more than anyone. The crew did not agree but they were too tired to argue.
Guilty Pleasure
My Heart Will Go On — Celine Dion
Jack Sparrow has listened to My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion 247 times. He blames this on: (1) a cursed compass redirecting his Spotify, (2) a ghost inhabiting his phone, (3) Barbossa hacking his account, (4) the Kraken, (5) the East India Trading Company. In reality, he plays it while sitting alone on the bow of the Black Pearl staring at the ocean. Gibbs walked in on him once. They have not discussed it. They will never discuss it.
Audio Aura
Ocean Blue and Rum Brown
Spotify’s audio aura for Jack is ocean blue and rum brown, which is essentially the color palette of his entire existence. The visualization also showed occasional flashes of gold, which Spotify’s team attributed to “songs about treasure” and Jack attributed to “my natural radiance, mate.”
His Playlist
Songs to Commandeer Ships To
Jack’s personal playlist. 62 songs. Plays on shuffle because Jack Sparrow does not believe in order. The only playlist in Spotify history that has been played while actively stealing a vessel.
#SpotifyWrapped
Captain Jack Sparrow's 2025 Wrapped
Personality
Chaotic Seafarer
Top Artist
The Irish Rovers
Top Song
Drunken Sailor
Minutes
62,000
Top Genre
Sea Shanties (98%)
40,000 of his 62,000 minutes were streamed while unconscious. Spotify has never seen this ratio before.
The problem is not the problem.
The problem is that Spotify won't let me list "Captain" as my first name on my profile.
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