Spotify Wrapped 2025
Darth Vader's
Spotify Wrapped
847,000 minutes of listening. Imperial March played 4,392 times. Father and Son on repeat 200 times the day he found out about Luke. His guilty pleasure is Dancing Queen by ABBA and if you tell anyone he will find you. Audio aura: black and red. Listening personality: Brooding Imperialist.
Your Top Songs
Vader's Top 5
Every song on this list is either deeply ironic given his life circumstances, or Imperial March. There is no in-between.
Imperial March
John Williams / London Symphony Orchestra
His entrance music. Played every time he walks into a room. The Star Destroyer bridge crew has heard it so many times that two officers requested transfers. He once Force-choked a technician for pausing it mid-crescendo. The 4,392 plays are just from this year. Lifetime total is classified by Imperial Intelligence.
Breathe
Pink Floyd
The irony is not lost on him. Or anyone. He breathes through a mechanical respirator 24/7 and his second most-played song is literally called Breathe. When Grand Moff Tarkin pointed this out, Vader Force-choked him for 3.5 seconds. Tarkin never mentioned it again. The Dark Side of the Moon album as a whole has been streamed 12,000 times. He particularly enjoys the heartbeat at the end.
The Sound of Silence
Simon & Garfunkel
Listens to this while staring out the viewport of his Star Destroyer into the void of space. The officers have learned not to disturb him during Sound of Silence hours, which run from 0200 to 0400 galactic standard time. He once listened to it on repeat for an entire hyperspace jump from Coruscant to Mustafar. Admiral Piett said it was the most uncomfortable 6 hours of his career.
Father and Son
Cat Stevens
The day the Emperor told him that the rebel pilot who destroyed the Death Star was his son, Vader locked himself in his meditation chamber and played Father and Son 200 times consecutively. Spotify flagged the account for unusual activity. Imperial IT had to confirm it was intentional. The Emperor sent a message asking if he was alright. Vader did not respond. He was on play 147.
Stayin' Alive
Bee Gees
Another deeply ironic choice from a man who is technically more machine than human and is being kept alive by a suit that would kill him if you unplugged it. The Bee Gees' disco classic plays in his meditation chamber during suit maintenance. The medical droids have confirmed that his vital signs actually improve during the chorus. The breathing apparatus syncs perfectly with the beat.
Your Top Artists
The Dark Side's Playlist
John Williams
6,200 plays. Vader insists this counts as one artist even though Williams scored films Vader has never heard of. He only listens to the Star Wars scores. And occasionally Jaws, because sharks remind him of himself.
Pink Floyd
4,100 plays. The entire Dark Side of the Moon album, Wish You Were Here (dedicated to Padmé), and The Wall (which he considers a documentary about the Empire).
Simon & Garfunkel
2,300 plays. Bridge Over Troubled Water makes him think of the lava bridge on Mustafar. He does not enjoy this memory but listens anyway.
Cat Stevens
1,800 plays. Exclusively Father and Son and Wild World. He added Peace Train to a playlist once but deleted it because peace is not on brand.
Bee Gees
1,200 plays. Stayin’ Alive and How Deep Is Your Love. The Emperor found out about How Deep Is Your Love and has been making fun of him in private ever since.
Full Breakdown
The Complete Wrapped
Top Genre
Dark Orchestral
98.2% of all listening. The remaining 1.8% is classified. Imperial records show that during the brief period he explored “Ambient Meditation” music, three rebel bases were destroyed. Correlation is unclear but noted.
Minutes Listened
847,000
That’s 1.6 years of continuous listening. Which makes sense because Vader does not sleep. He meditates in a pressurized chamber and streams music through speakers embedded in his helmet. The Empire’s Spotify Enterprise plan was upgraded specifically to handle his usage.
Listening Personality
Brooding Imperialist
Spotify’s algorithm attempted to categorize Vader’s listening habits and generated a new personality type that had never existed before: Brooding Imperialist. Characteristics include: listening exclusively at maximum volume, never using shuffle mode (because order must be maintained), and Force-choking anyone who suggests Discovery Weekly.
Most Replayed Song
Father and Son — Cat Stevens
200 plays in a single day. The day he discovered Luke Skywalker was his son. Spotify’s repeat detection algorithm flagged the account as potentially compromised. Imperial IT confirmed it was intentional. The Emperor’s Spotify account was later found to have searched “Father and Son lyrics” that same evening, presumably to understand what Vader was going through. He then searched “how to use someone’s emotions against them.”
Guilty Pleasure
Dancing Queen — ABBA
This is the most classified piece of information in the Galactic Empire. More classified than the Death Star plans. More classified than the Emperor’s real name. Darth Vader has listened to Dancing Queen by ABBA 247 times. He listens exclusively in his sealed meditation chamber with the soundproofing set to maximum. The one time an officer accidentally accessed his listening history, that officer was reassigned to garbage compactor maintenance on Hoth. ABBA will never know their biggest fan breathes through a ventilator.
Audio Aura
Black and Red
Spotify’s audio aura feature analyzed Vader’s listening patterns and produced a visualization that was entirely black and red. The design team said it was the most “aggressive” aura they had ever generated. When they showed it to Vader for feedback, he said “I find your lack of bass disturbing” and the entire audio aura feature was recalibrated.
His Playlist
Songs to Enforce Galactic Order To
Vader’s personal playlist. 847 songs. All played at maximum volume. No shuffle. Shuffle implies chaos. The Empire does not tolerate chaos.
#SpotifyWrapped
Darth Vader's 2025 Wrapped
Personality
Brooding Imperialist
Top Artist
John Williams
Top Song
Imperial March
Minutes
847,000
Top Genre
Dark Orchestral
Listened to more Imperial March than 100% of other Spotify users. Spotify considered renaming the song after him.
I find your lack of bass disturbing.
Also, if anyone touches my playlist, I will Force-choke them from across the galaxy.
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