Spotify Wrapped 2025
Gandalf's
Spotify Wrapped
2,019,000 minutes of listening. He's been alive for over 7,000 years so honestly this is restrained. Top song: Stairway to Heaven (he fell down one). Second most-played artist: himself. Guilty pleasure: Firework by Katy Perry. He will not apologize.
Your Top Songs
Gandalf's Top 5
Three songs about bridges or stairs. One spoken word recording of himself. One comeback anthem. This is the most Gandalf playlist imaginable.
Stairway to Heaven
Led Zeppelin
He fell down one. In Moria. Fighting a Balrog. For several days. When he finally came back as Gandalf the White, the first thing he did was open Spotify and play this song. The hobbits thought he was being dramatic. He was. He’s always been dramatic. The “And she’s buying a stairway to heaven” line hits different when you’ve literally fallen off the stairs in a subterranean mine while on fire.
You Shall Not Pass
Gandalf the Grey (Spoken Word)
Gandalf uploaded a spoken word recording of himself saying “You shall not pass” to Spotify. It’s 4 seconds long. He listens to it before important meetings. The Council of Elrond. Briefings with Aragorn. Whenever Pippin tries to touch the Palantír. He also recorded a 47-minute version of the full Balrog speech but it only has 3 plays — all from Elrond, who described it as “self-indulgent but admittedly powerful.”
Bridge Over Troubled Water
Simon & Garfunkel
Another bridge song. Gandalf has a complicated relationship with bridges. The Bridge of Khazad-dûm. The bridge at Helm’s Deep approach. He has a playlist called “Bridge Songs” with 34 tracks. Aragorn once pointed out that this was a lot of bridge content and Gandalf told him to mind his own business, which is the most Gandalf response possible.
Return of the Mack
Mark Morrison
After dying as Gandalf the Grey and coming back as Gandalf the White, he discovered this song and immediately added it to every playlist. He plays it every time he enters a room now. Theoden’s throne room at Edoras. The Battle of Helm’s Deep at dawn. He once made Shadowfax gallop in sync with the beat down the hill at Helm’s Deep. Legolas said it was “unnecessary but iconic.”
Old Man
Neil Young
He’s over 7,000 years old. This song was practically written for him. He listens to it during long rides across Middle-earth and mutters “old man, look at my life” while staring at the horizon. Frodo once asked him why he was singing about being old when he seemed perfectly capable. Gandalf did not dignify this with a response. The Ent Treebeard also listens to this song. They have a shared playlist called “Ancient Gentlemen.”
Your Top Artists
Including Himself, Naturally
Led Zeppelin
5,400 plays. Gandalf considers Stairway to Heaven the greatest song ever written. He’s been alive for most of recorded history and this is his definitive statement. Robert Plant is the only mortal Gandalf would consider granting wizard status.
Gandalf the Grey (Spoken Word)
2,100 plays. All of himself. He’s his own second most-played artist. This is the most Gandalf statistic in the history of statistics.
Simon & Garfunkel
3,200 plays. The Sound of Silence for contemplation. Bridge Over Troubled Water for bridge nostalgia. Homeward Bound for the journey back to the Shire. He considers them the hobbits of folk music.
Neil Young
2,800 plays. Old Man, Heart of Gold, and Harvest Moon. Gandalf once said Neil Young was “the closest a mortal has come to understanding the weight of immortality” and Aragorn said that was a bit much.
Enya
1,900 plays. Orinoco Flow. Only Time. She literally scored the Lord of the Rings. Gandalf considers her an honorary elf. Legolas agrees.
Full Breakdown
The Complete Wrapped
Top Genre
Classic Rock / Spoken Word
62% Classic Rock, 18% Spoken Word (all of himself), 12% Folk, 8% New Age. The Spoken Word percentage is entirely self-produced content. Spotify’s algorithm categorized him as both a listener and an artist, which confused the recommendation engine for three centuries.
Minutes Listened
2,019,000
That’s 3.84 years of continuous listening. But Gandalf has been alive for over 7,000 years, so this is honestly restrained. He only got Spotify in the Third Age. Before that he used vinyl. Before that, live performances by elves. He considers Spotify “a pale imitation of Elvish minstrelsy but acceptable for traveling.”
Listening Personality
Ancient Vibes Curator
Spotify’s algorithm analyzed 7,000 years of implied listening history and generated a personality type that will never apply to another user. Ancient Vibes Curator. Characteristics: plays songs in the order they were meant to be heard, never skips, lectures anyone who uses shuffle, and considers playlists under 3 hours “frivolous.”
Most Replayed Song
Stairway to Heaven — Led Zeppelin
3,847 plays. The day he fell in Moria, his Spotify was set to auto-play. It played Stairway to Heaven while he was fighting the Balrog, falling through the abyss, and ascending the Endless Stair. The song finished approximately 47 times during the ordeal. Spotify’s “Listening Activity” timeline shows a 10-day gap followed by Stairway to Heaven played 47 times. Then silence. Then Return of the Mack.
Guilty Pleasure
Firework — Katy Perry
Gandalf loves fireworks. This is established canon. He makes fireworks for the Shire. So when Katy Perry released a song called Firework, Gandalf listened to it 834 times. He considers it a “celebration of inner light and pyrotechnic excellence.” The hobbits found it on his listening history and Merry and Pippin have not stopped singing it. Gandalf regrets nothing. “Baby, you’re a firework” is objectively a good line and he will defend this position.
Audio Aura
White and Gold
After the Grey-to-White transformation, his audio aura shifted from grey and silver to white and gold. Spotify’s visualization team noted it was the only audio aura that literally “glowed.” Saruman’s audio aura, for the record, was described as “muddy and conflicted” before his account was banned for terms of service violations.
His Playlist
Songs for the Long Road
Gandalf’s primary playlist. Curated over seven millennia. No shuffle. Ever. “A wizard listens to songs in the order they were meant to be heard.”
#SpotifyWrapped
Gandalf's 2025 Wrapped
Personality
Ancient Vibes Curator
Top Artist
Led Zeppelin
Top Song
Stairway to Heaven
Minutes
2,019,000
Top Genre
Classic Rock / Spoken Word
Second most-played artist is himself. He uploaded one 4-second track and played it 2,100 times. Spotify has never seen this before.
A wizard is never late to his Spotify Wrapped.
He receives it precisely when he means to.
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