The Billionaire
Group Chat
What if all the billionaires were in ONE group chat? These are the “leaked” conversations.
Billionaire Boys Club 💰 — 47 members
47
Members
10
Leaked Conversations
3
Hostile Takeover Attempts
847M
Views After Leak
Leaked Conversations
10 intercepted group chat threads. Read at your own risk. None of this is real. All of it is accurate.
Someone Added Mark Zuckerberg to the Chat
Monday 9:14 AM • Billionaire Boys Club 💰
Read by 46 of 47 members • Warren is still figuring out how to open this
Elon Bought Something Again
Tuesday 2:30 PM • Billionaire Boys Club 💰
Read by 46 of 47 members • Warren is still figuring out how to open this
Warren Asks for Tech Help
Wednesday 7:02 AM • Billionaire Boys Club 💰
Read by 46 of 47 members • Warren is still figuring out how to open this
Who's the Richest (Annual Argument)
Thursday 11:00 AM • Billionaire Boys Club 💰
Read by 46 of 47 members • Warren is still figuring out how to open this
The Market Is Crashing (Real-Time Reactions)
Friday 9:31 AM • Billionaire Boys Club 💰
Read by 46 of 47 members • Warren is still figuring out how to open this
Planning the Group Vacation (Nobody Agrees)
Saturday 10:00 AM • Billionaire Boys Club 💰
Read by 46 of 47 members • Warren is still figuring out how to open this
Someone Started a Side Chat Without Elon
Sunday 8:45 PM • Billionaire Boys Club 💰
Read by 46 of 47 members • Warren is still figuring out how to open this
The Crypto Debate That Won't Die
Monday 3:00 PM • Billionaire Boys Club 💰
Read by 46 of 47 members • Warren is still figuring out how to open this
Sam Altman Said the Quiet Part Out Loud
Tuesday 6:15 PM • Billionaire Boys Club 💰
Read by 46 of 47 members • Warren is still figuring out how to open this
Someone Leaked the Chat (It Was Definitely Elon)
Wednesday 11:30 PM • Billionaire Boys Club 💰
Read by 46 of 47 members • Warren is still figuring out how to open this
Jeff's Muscles vs Zuck's MMA (Who Wore It Best)
Thursday 4:20 PM • Billionaire Boys Club 💰
Read by 46 of 47 members • Warren is still figuring out how to open this
The Annual 'Who Gave Away More Money' Flex
Friday 12:00 PM • Billionaire Boys Club 💰
Read by 46 of 47 members • Warren is still figuring out how to open this
Chat Statistics
Analytics nobody asked for
Most Messages Sent
4,821 messages (40% of all traffic)
Most Likely to Leave & Rejoin
Left 147 times. Rejoined 147 times.
Most Emoji Reactions Received
Every message gets 30+ reactions
Most Hostile Takeover Attempts
Filed 3 proxy fights against the admin
Fastest Typer
Types at 200 WPM. Changes opinion at 400 WPM.
Never Opened the App
All messages sent via fax-to-chat bridge
Most Data Scraped
Has trained 3 AI models on this chat
Only Member Who Uses Proper Grammar
Types in complete sentences. In French.
Most Side Chats Created
Created 8 groups. All to escape Elon. None worked.
Longest Single Message
Once sent a 2,400-word message about Principles. Nobody read it.
Most Consistent Poster
Mentions FNMAS in every conversation. Has not missed a day since 2013.
Silent Observer
Reads everything. Replies once a week. That reply is always about privacy.
Group Chat Rules
Pinned by Carl Icahn • Ignored by everyone
📌 Pinned Message — Last updated 47 times by Carl Icahn
No acquisitions of the group chat without majority approval.
Violated by: Elon Musk (3 times)
No renaming the group without admin consent.
Violated by: Elon Musk (147 times), Carl Icahn (12 times)
No scraping member data for AI training purposes.
Violated by: Mark Zuckerberg (ongoing)
No shirtless photos before 5 PM.
Violated by: Jeff Bezos (weekly)
No 14-page letters in the group chat. Use the thread.
Violated by: Carl Icahn (he wrote this rule and violated it)
Warren gets unlimited tech support without judgment.
Violated by: Everyone (constantly)
No posting screenshots to X/Twitter/social media.
Violated by: Elon Musk (this is why we can't have nice things)
No pitching crypto to Warren. He doesn't want it.
Violated by: Elon Musk, Cathie Wood (semi-annually)
Charlie Munger's insults are protected speech.
Challenged by: Nobody (for good reason)
All discussions of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are permitted and encouraged.
Added by: Glen Bradford (himself)
These rules have been violated a combined 847 times. The enforcement mechanism is Charlie Munger calling you stupid.
📣 Message of the Day — Set by GroupChat Bot
“Day 847 of this group chat. Nobody has resolved anything. Productivity: 0%. Net worth created during arguments: $47 billion. The market doesn't care about your group chat drama. Neither does Warren. He's at Dairy Queen.”
— GroupChat Bot, who has become sentient and tired
12,847
Days Active
0
Issues Resolved
$2.1T
Combined Net Worth
The Side Chats
Smaller groups that formed • All equally dysfunctional
Boomer Billionaires 📱❓
Warren asks tech questions. Charlie calls everything stupid. Carl threatens a hostile takeover of the Settings app.
Warren: How do I turn off the flashlight
Adults Only 🚫🚀
A brief respite from Elon. Lasted 7 minutes before Zuck added him back.
Jeff: He's posting about us on X again
GPU Appreciation Society
Jensen posts GPU benchmarks. Everyone else pretends to care. They care because they need the GPUs.
Jensen: The H200 is a work of art. Like the Sistine Chapel, but useful.
Hostile Takeover Support Group
They just send each other 14-page letters demanding the others change their profile photos.
Carl: I've filed a proxy statement against this group's admin
FNMAS to the Moon 🚀
It's just Glen. He's been posting in here alone since 2013. Incredibly consistent.
Glen: Day 4,748. The net worth sweep remains illegal. Anyway, good morning.
The Philanthropy Flex 💸
They compete over who can give away money faster. Warren is losing because he keeps accidentally making more.
MacKenzie: Just donated to 400 more organizations. Didn't tell anyone. Oops.
Billionaire Fitness Bros 💪
Shirtless yacht photos. MMA tournament brackets. Zero discussion of shareholder value.
Jeff: Check out this new protein shake my chef made on the yacht
Warren's Tech Support 🔧
Bill walks Warren through one (1) technology task per week. Average call time: 3 hours.
Warren: Bill, the letters got smaller again. What did I touch.
Featured Chat Members
Read their full profiles
I wrote this entire page instead of filing an SEC comment letter about the net worth sweep. This is character development. Or regression. The group chat leak is fictional but my position in FNMAS is very real. Some of you need to stop worrying about billionaire group chats and start worrying about why the government is keeping $301 billion in illegally swept profits. Anyway, enjoy the comedy.
Your Unread Notifications
You have 2,847 unread messages
I'm renaming the chat again...
How do I make the letters bigg...
RE: My 14-Page Letter (Revised...
[Photo] Check out this yacht a...
I've updated the privacy polic...
Day 4,749. The net worth sweep...
BUY NO WAIT SELL NO WAIT BU...
You're all idiots. Goodnight.
What if AI could resolve this g...
This chat has been reported fo...
Mark All as Read (Warren doesn't know how) • Mute Chat (Elon will unmute it) • Leave Group (You'll be back)
Frequently Asked Questions
Is the Billionaire Group Chat real?
No. This is entirely fictional comedy by Glen Bradford. No billionaire group chat was harmed (or leaked) in the making of this page. However, Warren Buffett genuinely does love McDonald's and flip phones, so some things write themselves.
Did Elon Musk really buy a group chat?
Not yet. But given that he bought Twitter for $44 billion because he was posting too much, buying a group chat is honestly one of the more plausible things on this page.
Why does Warren Buffett keep asking about the letters?
Warren Buffett is famously technology-averse. He used a flip phone until 2020, reads physical newspapers, and once said he doesn't have a computer on his desk. The man manages $900 billion and can't pinch-to-zoom. Respect.
Who is Glen Bradford and why does he keep mentioning Fannie Mae?
Glen Bradford is a Salesforce developer, investor, and author who founded Cloud Nimbus LLC. He has written 8 books about the government's net worth sweep of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac (the Fanniegate series). He mentions FNMAS in approximately 100% of all conversations, which this page faithfully recreates.
Is this financial advice?
Absolutely not. If you're making investment decisions based on a fictional group chat where Jim Cramer changes his mind in the same minute and Warren Buffett asks for McDonald's coupons, please close your brokerage account and take a walk.
Who leaked the conversations?
It was Elon. It's always Elon. He posted it on X and it got 847 million views. He considers this a public service.
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