Maleficent
Wedding Planner

Objective

To bring my unparalleled sense of drama, elegance, and consequence to the wedding planning industry. Every celebration should be unforgettable, and I have a proven track record of creating events that no one — not a single soul in the kingdom — has ever forgotten. My christening work for Princess Aurora remains the most talked-about royal event in history, and it was not even on the official program. Imagine what I could accomplish with an actual invitation.

Professional Experience

Mistress of All Evil / Independent Event Specialist (centuries — present): Organized and executed an uninvited appearance at the christening of Princess Aurora that overshadowed the contributions of three officially hired fairy planners. Delivered a gift so memorable that the entire kingdom restructured its policies around spinning wheels. Transformed a castle's ballroom into a forest of thorns overnight — a dramatic floral installation that remains unmatched in the industry. Managed a staff of goblins, ravens, and one very loyal pet dragon. Previously: Fairy of the Moors, specializing in natural venue design (enchanted forests, crystal lakes, canopied clearings with bioluminescent lighting). Transitioned to darker aesthetics after a professional disagreement regarding inclusivity in guest lists.

Skills & Certifications

Expert-level event design with specialization in dramatic entrances, ambient green lighting, and thorn-based décor. Floral arrangement (roses, black roses, and thorned vine installations that grow on command). Color palette mastery: black, purple, green, and the occasional reluctant gold. Vendor management: can negotiate with any caterer, florist, or enchanted spinning wheel supplier. Guest list management: I will ensure every relevant person is invited. Every. Single. One. Trust me on this.

Education

Self-taught in dark sorcery, event planning, and the fine art of the dramatic pause. Studied briefly under the three good fairies — Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather — before our creative differences became irreconcilable. They favored pastels. I favored atmosphere. They wanted 'cheerful.' I wanted 'unforgettable.' We agreed to disagree. They disagreed more loudly than I would have liked. I responded proportionally.

References

Diablo (my raven, loyal assistant, excellent at reconnaissance and seating chart oversight). The goblins of the Forbidden Mountain (event staff, reliable if supervised, prone to celebrating prematurely). King Stefan (former client — will not return my calls, but can confirm the impact of my work). Note: Do not contact the three good fairies. They are biased. And their taste in color is criminal.

Interviewer

Thank you for coming in, Maleficent. We loved your portfolio. The thorn installations are... striking.

Maleficent

Thank you, darling. I find that thorns communicate what flowers cannot: that beauty has consequences, and that entering a space should feel like a commitment. Any florist can arrange peonies. I arrange peonies surrounded by six-inch thorns that whisper 'do not touch' in a language older than your civilization. The effect is... unforgettable. Which, as I understand it, is the goal of every wedding.

Interviewer

It certainly makes an impression. Walk us through your process for planning a wedding from start to finish.

Maleficent

First, I review the guest list. This is the most critical step. I check it twice. I check it three times. I cross-reference it against every living person who has ever had a meaningful interaction with the couple. If someone has been excluded — a distant cousin, a former friend, a powerful fairy who once blessed the bride at birth — I flag it immediately. Exclusion is the root of all event disasters. I speak from experience. The rest — venue, catering, music — is secondary. The guest list is everything. Get it right, and the wedding is beautiful. Get it wrong, and... well. You know the story.

Interviewer

What if the bride has a specific vision that conflicts with your aesthetic?

Maleficent

I listen. I am an excellent listener. I nod. I make supportive eye contact. And then I gently explain that their vision — while charming in its simplicity — lacks the narrative depth that transforms a wedding from 'a nice afternoon' into 'a story told for generations.' If the bride wants rustic barn chic, I give her rustic barn chic — but the barn is enchanted, the hay bales glow faintly purple, and there is a spinning wheel in the corner that guests find inexplicably fascinating. It is still her wedding. It is simply... elevated.

Interviewer

What about the bride who doesn't like the flowers you've chosen?

Maleficent

Then she will sleep for a hundred years. [Pause] That was a joke. Mostly. The flowers I choose are always perfect because I grow them myself, from enchanted seeds, in soil from the Moors. They bloom on command. They never wilt — unless I want them to, for dramatic effect during the ceremony. And they come in every color, provided that color is black, deep purple, emerald green, or — for the more adventurous bride — a red so dark it is almost black. If the bride wants pink, I can do pink. But I will judge her silently. And the pink will have thorns.

Interviewer

How do you handle last-minute changes? Brides can be... unpredictable.

Maleficent

Darling, I cursed a newborn because her parents forgot to invite me to a party. I understand unpredictability. I thrive in it. Last-minute venue change? I can transform any space into an enchanted forest in under six hours. My goblins work quickly when properly motivated — and they are always properly motivated, because the alternative is unpleasant. Rain on the outdoor ceremony? I control weather. The caterer cancelled? I have a raven who can source artisan provisions from three kingdoms in under ninety minutes. Nothing fazes me. I have been alive for centuries. I have seen everything. Except a tasteful use of burlap at a wedding. That, I have never seen.

Interviewer

Your portfolio mentions a 'Sleep Theme' package. Can you elaborate?

Maleficent

The Enchanted Slumber package is my flagship offering. The ceremony takes place at twilight, in a venue draped in deep violet and silver. The bride processes down an aisle lined with black roses and softly glowing thorns. At the altar, after the vows, the bride symbolically 'falls asleep' — a controlled enchantment lasting approximately ninety seconds, during which the room goes dark, a single spotlight illuminates the couple, and the groom revives her with a kiss. The guests gasp. Some weep. The photographer captures the moment. It is the most dramatic first kiss in wedding history. I offer this package at three tiers: Classic Slumber (ninety seconds), Deep Enchantment (five minutes, includes fainting couch), and Full Aurora (one hundred years, non-refundable deposit required).

Interviewer

The 'Full Aurora' option — that's not literal, right?

Maleficent

It is as literal as the client requires. I always discuss expectations upfront. Some brides want the fairy tale. Some brides want THE fairy tale. I provide both. The liability waiver for the Full Aurora package is quite thorough — seventeen pages, notarized, witnessed by three enchanted creatures of the client's choosing. No one has selected it yet, but I keep it in the portfolio because I believe in offering range. And because one day, someone will select it. And it will be magnificent.

Interviewer

Let's talk about working with other vendors. DJs, photographers, caterers —

Maleficent

I do not work WITH vendors. I direct them. There is a difference. The DJ plays what I have curated: a progression from baroque chamber music to modern orchestral scores, with one permitted pop song during the reception, and it had better not be anything by that insufferable band that plays at every wedding. The photographer follows my shot list, which emphasizes dramatic lighting, architectural thorn arrangements, and the bride's face at the exact moment she realizes this is the most extraordinary event she has ever attended. The caterer serves the menu I have designed, which features seasonal ingredients, dark chocolate, and at least one course that arrives with a small curl of theatrical fog. Collaboration is welcome. Deviation is not.

Interviewer

What would you say to a couple on a budget?

Maleficent

I would say that beauty should not be constrained by finance, and that I am willing to work within any budget — but that some things cannot be cheapened. Thorns are free. Drama is free. The look on your mother-in-law's face when a raven delivers the rings on a velvet pillow — priceless. I can plan a stunning wedding for any budget. The centerpieces will be smaller. The enchantments will be briefer. But the entrance — my entrance, specifically — will still involve green flame, because I refuse to arrive any other way. It is not vanity. It is branding.

Interviewer

One last question. Have you ever planned an event that went perfectly? No curses, no drama, no one falling asleep for a century?

Maleficent

Once. A small garden wedding in the south of France. Intimate. Thirty guests. White flowers — and I allowed it, because the bride asked nicely and because the garden was already beautiful and did not need my intervention. The ceremony was brief. The speeches were sincere. The couple danced under string lights while their families watched and smiled, and I stood in the back in a simple black gown and felt, for the first time in centuries, that an event could be perfect without spectacle. It was quiet and honest and human, and I cried, which I will deny if you repeat it. Then the caterer forgot to serve the sorbet course and I cursed the dessert table. Old habits. But the rest of it was lovely.