Rocky Balboa's
Spotify Wrapped

Twenty-three thousand plays. That is 63 plays per day. Every single day. For a year. Rocky wakes up at 4 AM. He puts on "Eye of the Tiger." He runs. He does not skip the intro. He has never skipped the intro. The opening guitar riff is not a song to Rocky — it is an alarm clock, a pre-workout, a prayer, and a battle cry compressed into four seconds. Survivor wrote this song in 1982. They had no idea it would become one man's entire personality.

His own theme song. He plays it every single time he runs up the Philadelphia Museum of Art steps. Every. Single. Time. The tourists think it's a coincidence. It is not. He has a Bluetooth speaker duct-taped to his sweatshirt. The Museum has asked him to stop. He cannot stop. The trumpets hit and his arms go up and for 2 minutes and 49 seconds he is the heavyweight champion of the world again. He is always the heavyweight champion of the world.

The Rocky IV training montage song. When this plays, Rocky is either running through Siberian snow, chopping wood, or climbing a mountain. Sometimes all three. In a suburban Philadelphia gym. The other gym members have learned to give him space when this song comes on because he will start doing one-armed pushups on the locker room floor and he will not stop until the song ends. It is 3 minutes and 52 seconds long. He has done 247 pushups in that time. His personal record.

Apollo Creed's entrance song. Rocky listens to this in memory of his best friend. He cries every time. Every single time. The Godfather of Soul performing at peak power while Apollo dances in stars and stripes. Rocky was there. He watched Apollo dance to this song and then he watched Apollo die. He still listens to it 8,900 times a year because that is what loyalty sounds like. If you are not crying right now, you have never had a best friend.

The Rocky IV driving montage song. When Rocky is questioning everything — his choices, his career, his losses — he gets in his car and drives and this song plays. He does not have a destination. He drives until the song ends. Then he plays it again. Then he drives some more. His car has 340,000 miles on it. 280,000 of those miles are Robert Tepper miles.

One song. 1,580 hours. Survivor has released eight studio albums containing 89 songs. Rocky has listened to one of them. He is aware the band has other songs. He does not care. "Eye of the Tiger" is all he needs. The band sends him a Christmas card every year. It is their primary source of royalty income.

The man who composed the Rocky theme. Rocky considers Bill Conti a close personal friend. They have met once, briefly, at a charity event in 1984. Conti signed a napkin. Rocky framed it. It hangs above his bed. Adrian thought it was sweet. Paulie thought it was weird. Both were correct.

Hearts on Fire and the Rocky IV soundtrack. Cafferty provided the sound of Rocky's most intense training period — the one where he single-handedly ended the Cold War by punching a Russian. Cafferty's music was playing when Rocky chose wood-chopping over technology. The music made the choice obvious.

For Apollo. Always for Apollo. Rocky does not listen to James Brown because he enjoys funk music, although he does enjoy funk music. He listens because every James Brown song sounds like Apollo Creed entering an arena. And Apollo Creed entering an arena was the most alive any human being has ever looked.

The driving music. Rocky has a very specific relationship with Robert Tepper's catalog: it is the soundtrack to his moments of existential doubt. When Rocky is questioning whether he should fight again, whether he's too old, whether the world has moved on — Robert Tepper is playing. Tepper provides the music for Rocky's sadness. This is a heavy responsibility and Tepper handles it beautifully.

The alarm goes off. It is "Eye of the Tiger." Because the alarm IS "Eye of the Tiger." He replaced the alarm sound with "Eye of the Tiger" in 1983 and has not changed it since. He does not snooze. Rocky Balboa has never hit snooze. Snoozing is for people who are not going to run up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art at 4:47 AM.

Still playing. He cracks five eggs into a glass. He drinks them. He does not make a face. He made a face the first time in 1976. He has not made a face since. The guitar solo hits right as the last egg goes down. This is not a coincidence. He timed it.

Through the Italian Market. Past the docks. The butchers wave. They have been waving at him every morning for forty years. Some of these butchers were not born when Rocky started running past their shops. Their fathers waved. Now they wave. It is a generational obligation.

72 steps. He has counted them. He has run up them approximately 14,600 times (40 years x 365 days). That is 1,051,200 total steps climbed. At the top, he raises his arms. Every time. The tourists applaud. Every time. A Japanese tour group once gave him a standing ovation at 4:50 AM. He cried. He always cries.

He has gone through 340 heavy bags in his career. Not because he wears them out from punching, although he does wear them out from punching. He replaces them every six weeks because he believes a fresh bag "hits different." He means this literally. He punches to the beat. Every hit lands on a downbeat. His trainer Mickey taught him this. Mickey has been dead for decades. Rocky still punches on Mickey's beats.

He does one-armed pushups because two-armed pushups are not hard enough and zero-armed pushups are physically impossible, although he has tried. His record is 312 one-armed pushups in a single session. He was listening to "Hearts on Fire" on repeat. The song played 14 times. He did not notice. He was too busy doing pushups.

This is Rocky's contemplative hour. He stretches. He stares out the window. He thinks about Adrian. He thinks about Apollo. He thinks about Mickey. He does not think about Drago because he has forgiven Drago and forgiveness means not thinking about someone while listening to Robert Tepper. This is very specific and very Rocky.

100% of his listening happens during training. He does not listen to music recreationally. Music is a training tool. Entertainment is for people who are not preparing to fight someone.

He is asleep. Rocky goes to bed at 8 PM. He has been going to bed at 8 PM since 1976. He has never seen a late-night talk show. He does not know who Jimmy Fallon is.

Rocky has never skipped a song. He does not know how. He does not want to know how. Every song deserves to finish. Just like every fight.

Spotify's algorithm has tried to suggest new music 47,000 times. Rocky has accepted zero suggestions. He knows what he likes. He has always known what he likes. The algorithm has given up.

Rocky does not listen to podcasts. He was once told about a true crime podcast and he said, "I don't need crime stories, I got enough crime in Philadelphia." This is the most Rocky has ever said about podcasts.

Paulie asked Rocky to share his playlist. Rocky shared it. Paulie listened to "Eye of the Tiger" once, said "This is the same song 47 times," and never opened it again. Rocky was hurt but did not show it.