Hermione Granger's
Spotify Wrapped

Hermione's anthem. She first heard it in a Muggle bookshop and immediately added it to seven different playlists. The lyrics "You've got the words to change a nation" hit different when you've literally changed the wizarding world's labor laws. She listens to it before every major exam, every Wizengamot hearing, and every time Ron says something that requires her to take a deep breath.

She discovered this during her Muggle Studies independent research phase. "When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful" — she relates to this on a molecular level. The song asks whether being logical makes you cynical. Hermione wrote a 14-page essay on this question. For fun. On holiday.

She insists the title is a coincidence and that she appreciates the song purely for its post-punk musicianship. She is lying. She added it to her "Charms Revision" playlist, her "Dark Arts Defense Cardio" playlist, AND her "S.P.E.W. Protest Songs" playlist. It fits all three somehow.

Time-Turner vibes. She listened to this on repeat during third year while attending three classes simultaneously. The lyric "If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting" is essentially her relationship with Harry and Ron's academic careers. She once accidentally played it during a Temporal Paradox Lecture and Professor Vector gave her a knowing look.

She does, actually. People forget this about Hermione. Between defeating dark wizards, reforming institutional discrimination, and maintaining a perfect GPA, she genuinely enjoys having fun. She just defines "fun" differently than most people. Her idea of fun involves color-coded revision timetables and alphabetized vinyl collections. But she dances to this in her room. Crookshanks has confirmed.

Intelligent, articulate, powerful. Hermione sees herself. Sandé writes songs about social justice and resilience. Hermione has built a career on social justice and resilience. It's a perfect match. She has attended three Muggle concerts in disguise.

The name alone appeals to her sense of intellectual whimsy. Their progressive rock compositions feature time signature changes that she analyzes in a dedicated notebook. Yes, she has a notebook specifically for analyzing time signatures.

For studying. Always for studying. She has timed her revision sessions to specific movements. The "Moonlight Sonata" first movement is exactly right for Potions theory. The "Eroica" third movement is for Defense Against the Dark Arts. She has a spreadsheet.

Two songs in her Top 5 from the same artist. Hermione respects this level of consistent quality. She wrote Cyndi Lauper a letter explaining the statistical improbability of one artist capturing both academic intensity and carefree joy. She has not sent it.

Her post-punk phase. It happened during fifth year and it never really ended. She keeps a Siouxsie poster in her office at the Ministry, partially obscured by a filing cabinet. She thinks no one has noticed. Everyone has noticed.

Primarily ambient classical with occasional baroque harpsichord. Tempo: 60-80 BPM exclusively. She tested faster tempos and her stirring technique suffered by 3.7%. Unacceptable.

High-energy post-punk and alternative rock. She runs to this. She also practices Shield Charms to this. The BPM matches her wand flick rate perfectly because she calibrated it.

Folk, protest rock, and soul music spanning 1960-present. Bob Dylan, Nina Simone, Rage Against the Machine, and one Draco and the Malfoys track that she claims is there "ironically."

Pure silence punctuated by a metronome at 72 BPM. She considers this a playlist. Spotify considers it a cry for help.

Songs about change, metamorphosis, and becoming. David Bowie features heavily. She appreciates the thematic consistency.

Icelandic ambient music exclusively. She claims the Nordic soundscapes help her translate Elder Futhark. No one has been able to disprove this.

The most aggressive playlist in her collection. Death metal, industrial, and hardstyle — anything to stay conscious during Professor Binns' lectures. The only class where she has ever struggled. Not academically. Just physically. With consciousness.

Every genre of Muggle music organized chronologically from 1900 to present. She created this for extra credit. She received 150% on the assignment.

For when she's reading for pleasure. Which is still 4-6 hours daily. Gentle piano and acoustic guitar. She once told Ron this playlist was "for relaxing" and he asked why it was 22 hours long.

Exactly 12 songs. Updated every year. She puts more thought into this playlist than most people put into their wedding playlists. Ron has never noticed it changes annually. She has noticed that he hasn't noticed.

She is already awake. She has been awake since 4:47 AM. The extra 13 minutes were spent organizing today's playlists.

Light listening while she reads. She reads during breakfast because "the brain is most receptive in the first two hours after waking." She read this in a book. At breakfast.

Each class has its own playlist. She switches playlists between classes with the precision of a DJ. A very academic DJ.

Her one hour of unapologetic pop music. She eats a sandwich and listens to "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" and for 47 minutes she is not thinking about the systematic oppression of house-elves.

The metronome playlist. Colleagues have asked her to use headphones. She has complied but she is disappointed in their inability to appreciate structured silence.

This is when Siouxsie comes out. The filing cabinet poster. The eyeliner she experimented with once in fifth year and never fully abandoned.

Chopin nocturnes while she writes in her journal. The journal is 400 pages. Per month.

She does not listen to music while sleeping. She has tried. She kept analyzing the chord progressions in her dreams and woke up more tired.