3x
Heart Growth
53
Years Grumpy
1
Town Robbed
1
Dog Traumatized
The Grievance Phase — 6:00 AM to 10:00 AM
Woke up angry. Googled angry. The Whos are singing again. It's 6 AM.
6:00 AM
how to cancel Christmas
6:05 AM
legal ways to cancel Christmas
6:12 AM
can one person legally cancel a holiday
6:20 AM
Christmas cancellation petition template
7:00 AM
noise complaint Whoville
7:05 AM
maximum fine for noise violation singing
7:15 AM
how loud is an entire town singing at once in decibels
7:30 AM
soundproofing cave walls budget
8:30 AM
why does Christmas music make me physically ill
9:00 AM
is hating Christmas a personality disorder
10:00 AM
therapist who specializes in holiday resentment
The Scheme Phase — 11:00 AM to 4:00 PM
He's got an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful, awful idea. And it requires a Santa costume and a very patient dog.
11:00 AM
Santa costume rental same day delivery
11:10 AM
Santa costume XXL green fur compatible
11:20 AM
DIY Santa suit sewing pattern curtain material
12:00 PM
how much can a dog pull on a sled
12:05 PM
is it animal cruelty to make dog pull sled
12:10 PM
how to attach antler to small dog
12:15 PM
Max the dog looking at me with sad eyes does he hate me
1:00 PM
Whoville Christmas schedule what time does everyone sleep
2:00 PM
how to steal presents from an entire town in one night
2:30 PM
chimney dimensions average Whoville home
3:00 PM
largest sack available for purchase
4:00 PM
can you steal a Christmas tree that's still lit
The Heist & Aftermath — 11:00 PM to 6:00 AM
Operation Christmas Theft is underway. And then something unexpected happens.
11:00 PM
quiet shoes for burglary
11:30 PM
what to tell small child who catches you stealing her tree
11:45 PM
excuses for taking tree "fixing light on other side" believable?
3:00 AM
sled overloaded going down mountain how to brake
5:30 AM
why is Whoville still singing I took everything
5:35 AM
can Christmas come without presents or decorations
5:40 AM
what is Christmas really about
5:42 AM
maybe Christmas means a little bit more
The Redemption Phase — 6:00 AM to 12:00 PM
Something is happening inside his chest. Something terrifying. Something wonderful.
6:00 AM
how to enlarge heart 3 sizes
6:02 AM
is heart growing 3 sizes a medical emergency
6:05 AM
cardiologist near Mt. Crumpit
6:10 AM
symptoms of sudden empathy onset
6:15 AM
why am I crying on a mountaintop
7:00 AM
how to return stolen presents to an entire town quickly
7:15 AM
how to apologize to an entire town
7:30 AM
public apology vs private apology which is better
9:00 AM
roast beast recipe
9:15 AM
how to carve roast beast for a crowd
10:00 AM
Whoville potluck what to bring
11:00 AM
is it okay to cry at dinner
11:30 AM
how to tell your dog you're sorry and also that you love him
12:00 PM
Christmas songs lyrics so I can sing along this time
"And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch's search history grew three sizes that day. From noise complaints and theft tutorials to roast beast recipes and apology templates."
— The Narrator, checking browser history
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