1
Pills Swallowed
∞
Bullets Dodged
1
Realities Questioned
0
Spoons That Exist
Pre-Red Pill — 2:00 AM to 6:00 AM
Thomas Anderson. Software developer by day. Hacker by night. Existential crisis around the clock.
2:00 AM
why does everything feel fake
2:12 AM
is reality a simulation
2:15 AM
simulation hypothesis explained simply
2:30 AM
what is the Matrix
2:45 AM
who is Morpheus
3:10 AM
strange man in sunglasses keeps calling me "The One" should I be worried
3:30 AM
white rabbit tattoo meaning
4:00 AM
red pill vs blue pill which one
4:05 AM
can you return a red pill
4:07 AM
red pill refund policy
5:00 AM
how to unplug from the Matrix
6:00 AM
why do I have a plug in the back of my head
Post-Red Pill Training — 9:00 AM to 12:30 PM
Reality has been shattered. Time to Google how to be The Chosen One.
9:00 AM
martial arts learn instantly
9:01 AM
I know kung fu
9:02 AM
do I actually know kung fu or does it just feel like I do
9:10 AM
how to dodge bullets
9:12 AM
bullet dodging technique slow motion lean back
9:15 AM
is it normal to see code raining when you close your eyes
10:00 AM
there is no spoon meaning
10:05 AM
but I can clearly see the spoon right there
11:00 AM
the chosen one am I
11:15 AM
imposter syndrome chosen one
11:30 AM
what if the Oracle is wrong about me
12:30 PM
can you eat steak in a simulation
Existential Afternoon — 1:00 PM to 5:00 PM
The food questions are getting out of hand. The philosophy questions are getting worse.
1:00 PM
does simulated steak have calories
1:05 PM
if food in the Matrix isn't real do I still gain weight
1:15 PM
single-celled protein goop recipes
1:20 PM
how to make nutrient goop taste like chicken
2:00 PM
how to fly in a simulation
2:05 PM
Superman flying technique explained
2:10 PM
difference between jumping really far and flying
3:00 PM
Agent Smith keeps copying himself is this a virus
3:30 PM
how to fight 100 copies of the same person
4:30 PM
déjà vu glitch in the Matrix or just déjà vu
5:00 PM
am I Googling this in the Matrix or in reality
Late Night Fashion & Philosophy — 9:00 PM to 1:30 AM
The Chosen One gets into wardrobe questions. And then back into existential ones.
9:00 PM
sunglasses that stay on during combat
9:05 PM
small round sunglasses that look philosophical
9:15 PM
long coat where to buy leather
9:20 PM
does leather trench coat make you look cool or like a villain
9:30 PM
why does everyone in the resistance wear black
10:00 PM
Trinity how to tell someone you like them in a dystopia
10:30 PM
is a relationship real if it started inside a computer simulation
11:00 PM
if I die in the Matrix do I die in real life
11:30 PM
what if the "real world" is also a simulation
12:00 AM
how deep do simulations go
12:30 AM
is Google itself part of the Matrix
1:00 AM
Morpheus snoring how to deal with roommate on hovercraft
1:30 AM
can The One call in sick
"Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself. Or just Google it at 2 AM like everyone else."
— Morpheus, before checking his own search history
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