#quest-planning

Can someone give me the TL;DR?

The TL;DR IS the briefing, Peregrin Took.

OK I skimmed it. Quick question: Why don't we just USE the ring? Hear me out — it's the most powerful weapon in Middle-earth. Gondor could use it to defend against Mordor. It's right there. We just... use it.

Boromir, if you had read paragraph 14 through 23 of my briefing, you would know exactly why that is a catastrophically bad idea.

I'm just saying, it's a powerful weapon and we're in a war. Is anyone else going to at least consider this?

The ring must be destroyed. My elven eyes can see the darkness spreading from Mordor even now. The shadow grows.

Then what are we waiting for? I'll destroy it right now.

The ring cannot be destroyed by any craft that we here possess. This was in paragraph 27 of Gandalf's briefing.

My axe...

Have you considered that this would not have happened if you had read the briefing?

Nobody asked you, elf.

Sorry to interrupt but has anyone tried the tomatoes from the South Farthing this season? Absolutely magnificent. I brought some for the council meeting. Also taters. I always bring extra taters.

Sam, this is a channel about the fate of Middle-earth.

Right, sorry. But you should try the taters. Po-tay-toes. Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew.

The ring must go to Mount Doom. It is the only way. I have spent 60 years in the wilderness preparing for this moment and I can guide whoever carries it.

Who made you the leader? You're literally a homeless ranger.

He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance.

Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king.

Can we PLEASE get back on topic? We need to decide who carries the ring. This has been a 25-minute meeting and we've accomplished nothing. This is worse than the Last Alliance.

I still think we should use the ring.

BOROMIR.

I will take the Ring to Mordor.

Though... I do not know the way.

FINALLY. Meeting adjourned. I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins.

You have my sword.

And you have my bow.

AND MY AXE!

Fine. I'll come too. But I still think we should use the ring.

Mr. Frodo isn't going anywhere without me!

We're coming too!

Yeah! Wait, where are we going?

Great. What about second breakfast?

DID YOU JUST CHANGE THE TOPIC TO MOCK ME?

I don't know what you mean.

@channel Does anyone else hear that weird noise outside? I think it might be a Nazgul. Or maybe a cat. Hard to tell.

Peregrin Took. It is THREE IN THE MORNING. You do NOT @channel for a cat. I swear on the Valar, if you touch a Palantir next, I will send you home.

Pip, we talked about this. No @channel after midnight.

I do not sleep, so this does not bother me. But for the record, it was a cat.

SOME OF US NEED SLEEP, ELF. Not all of us can stand around looking pretty with our eyes open all night.

Since we're all awake, anyone want some leftover stew? I made extra.

I can't sleep anyway. The ring keeps whispering. It's like a group notification I can't mute.

If you're not using the ring, I could hold it for a while. Just to give you a break. Just for a bit.

Boromir, go to sleep.

Good morning. I see from the message history that this fellowship is already falling apart and you haven't even left Rivendell yet. I have lived 6,000 years and I have never seen a project go off the rails this fast.

I'm starting to think we should have just done an email.