Hogwarts Faculty Lounge 🪄

Good morning. Welcome back for another year. I\'ve attached the faculty meeting agenda, the updated classroom schedule, and the list of banned items. Please review before our 10 AM meeting.

Ah, schedules. A curious thing, time. It has a way of teaching us that the things we think are important often aren\'t, and the things we ignore are everything.

Albus. Did you read the agenda.

I read many things, Minerva. Some written on parchment, others written on the soul.

That\'s a no.

I see we\'ve once again scheduled Potions in the dungeons. How... expected. I suppose someone has to teach in a room with no natural light, no ventilation, and the faint aroma of toad spawn. It\'s fine. I\'m used to being overlooked.

Severus, you REQUESTED the dungeons.

Obviously.

Good morning, everyone! Just a quick reminder that my new book, "Magical Me and Also Some Teaching Tips," is now available in the faculty common room. I\'ve signed every copy. Personally. Twice.

Riveting.

Thank you, Severus! I knew you\'d appreciate it.

That was sarcasm.

Witty as always! I mention you in chapter 7, by the way. "The Brooding Colleague."

morning all!! quick question. hypothetically. if a teacher were to bring a Norwegian Ridgeback onto school grounds for "educational purposes," what would the disciplinary process look like? asking for a friend

Hagrid.

hypothetically!!

Is it already on the grounds.

...define "grounds"

A dragon is merely a large, misunderstood lizard with a passion for fire. Much like some of our students.

If Potter is involved in this, I will resign. Again.

You resign every Tuesday, Severus.

And every Tuesday I am given insufficient reasons to stay. Yet here I am.

I have foreseen that someone in this chat will face a TERRIBLE FATE by end of term. The tea leaves were VERY clear. Also, can someone fix the heating in the North Tower? My shawls can only do so much.

Your prediction accuracy hovers around the same percentage as a coin flip. But lower.

The inner eye does not respond to peer review, Severus.

A wonderful first day. Remember: happiness can be found even in the darkest of group chats, if one only remembers to mute notifications.

Albus, that is not in the meeting notes.

The best things rarely are, Minerva.