Edison vs Tesla:
Current Wars

The Wizard of Menlo Park. Holds 1,093 patents, approximately 40 of which he actually invented himself. Master delegator. Incredible self-promoter. Will electrocute your pet to prove a point. His strategy on the show is simple: let Tesla invent something, then claim he invented it first. Has a team of 14 engineers hidden in his trailer that the producers pretend not to notice.

Serbian-American genius. Invented alternating current, the radio, the Tesla coil, and the entire modern electrical grid. Cannot explain any of this to investors in under three hours. Falls in love with a pigeon in Episode 6 and it somehow becomes the most emotionally compelling subplot of the season. Refuses to shake hands with anyone. Keeps muttering about death rays.

Industrialist, engineer, and the only person in the 1890s willing to fund AC power. Pretends to be neutral on the judging panel but clearly favors Tesla. Edison once sent him a dead horse in the mail (AC-electrocuted, naturally). Keeps a straight face through everything. The audience loves him.

The most powerful banker in America. Funds Edison. Sits on the judging panel of a show where Edison competes. When asked about the conflict of interest, he said, "I don't see the conflict. I see an interest." Will fund Tesla's wireless energy tower in the finale and then pull the funding mid-construction because he realized free energy can't be metered.

A gentle elephant from Coney Island who did nothing wrong. Edison electrocutes her with 6,600 volts of AC current on live television to "prove" that alternating current is dangerous. This is the episode that gets the show cancelled. The audience never forgives Edison. Tesla weeps.

Let There Be Light (But Whose?)

The premiere. Edison and Tesla arrive at the Current Wars studio — a massive warehouse in Menlo Park rigged with cameras, challenge stations, and one extremely nervous fire marshal. Challenge: illuminate a city block. Edison uses DC power and 47 sub-stations. Tesla uses one AC transformer. Tesla wins on efficiency. Edison wins the audience vote because he brought fireworks. The judges call it a tie. Tesla's confessional: "A tie? I lit an entire block with one transformer. He needed forty-seven stations and still had brownouts. This is not a tie. This is theft wearing a bow tie." Edison's confessional: "Great first day. My team really came through." (His team is 14 engineers hiding behind a curtain.)

The Patent Troll Under the Bridge

Challenge: file the most patents in 24 hours. Edison arrives with a wagon full of pre-written patent applications, many of which describe inventions his employees made. Tesla spends the entire 24 hours perfecting one patent for a polyphase AC motor. Edison files 37 patents. Tesla files 1. The judges award Edison the win. Westinghouse dissents. Morgan doesn't understand what a patent is but votes for Edison anyway because "he seems productive." Tesla's confessional is 11 minutes long and entirely in Serbian. The producers add subtitles: "I will not dignify this farce with the English language."

Currents of Destruction

Edison launches a smear campaign against AC power. He secretly films himself electrocuting stray animals with AC current and leaks the footage to newspapers. Tesla is horrified. Westinghouse is furious. Morgan pretends not to have seen the footage. The producers consider intervening but the ratings spike 340%. Tesla builds a working AC induction motor during his confessional out of spare parts from the craft services table. "While he murders animals for publicity, I create. That is the difference between us. That has always been the difference."

The Wardenclyffe Incident

Tesla announces his plan to build a tower that transmits wireless energy for free to the entire world. Morgan agrees to fund it, then realizes that "free" means "no one pays for it" and pulls out mid-construction. Tesla stands alone in the rain next to his half-built tower. It is the most cinematically beautiful moment in reality TV history. Edison uses the episode to patent the word "electricity." The patent office rejects it. He tries again with "elektricity." Also rejected.

The Phonograph of Lies

Challenge: invent a device that records and plays back sound. Edison presents the phonograph, which he actually did invent, and the judges are impressed. Tesla points out that he's been working on radio technology that would make the phonograph obsolete. Edison laughs. The judges laugh. Tesla's confessional: "They laugh now. In 50 years, no one will own a phonograph. Everyone will own a radio. I have seen the future and it does not have a hand crank." (He was correct.) Edison's confessional: "The phonograph will be in every home in America forever." (He was not correct.)

Love in the Time of Alternating Current

A surprise twist: the producers introduce a dating segment. Edison brings his second wife, Mina, who he proposed to in Morse code (this actually happened). Tesla declines to participate because he is in love with a white pigeon that visits his hotel room window (this also actually happened). "She is beautiful," Tesla says in his confessional, completely serious. "When she comes to my window, there is a light — a powerful light — from her eyes. It is the same light I see in alternating current. I love her more than any human I have ever met." The producers don't know what to do with this footage. They air all of it.

The Topsy Episode

Edison electrocutes Topsy the elephant on camera to prove AC current is dangerous. 6,600 volts. The studio audience goes silent. Several crew members walk off set. Tesla vomits in his dressing room. Westinghouse demands Edison be disqualified. Morgan asks what an elephant costs. The network receives 200,000 complaint letters. Edison's confessional: "The demonstration was very effective. I think it really showed people the dangers of alternating—" A producer's hand appears on screen and pushes the camera away. This is the episode that breaks the show.

The World's Fair or Bust

Challenge: light the 1893 Chicago World's Fair. Edison bids $554,000 (DC power). Tesla and Westinghouse bid $399,000 (AC power). Tesla wins the contract and illuminates the entire fair with 100,000 incandescent lamps powered by AC generators. It is the most spectacular light display the world has ever seen. 27 million people attend. Edison watches from a hot dog stand. His confessional is just him eating a hot dog in silence for 45 seconds. Then: "I could have done it for $300,000." (He could not have done it for $300,000.)

The Fall of Genius

Tesla is broke. He gave away his AC royalties to save Westinghouse's company (this actually happened — he tore up a contract worth $12 million in today's money). He lives alone in the New Yorker Hotel. He feeds pigeons. He claims to have invented a death ray but won't show anyone. Edison is rich, famous, and revered as America's greatest inventor — using technology that Tesla proved inferior eight episodes ago. The irony is not lost on the audience. Tesla's confessional: "I could have been a wealthy man. I chose to be a useful one." Edison's confessional: "I don't know why people feel sorry for him. I offered him a job."

The Final Verdict (AC/DC)

Season finale. The judges tally the scores. Tesla wins 7 of 10 challenges on technical merit. Edison wins the audience vote 8 of 10 times. Morgan votes for Edison (his investor). Westinghouse votes for Tesla (his partner). The tiebreaker goes to a public vote. Edison campaigns aggressively. Tesla refuses to campaign because "the work speaks for itself." Edison wins. Tesla's confessional, the last of the season: "History will remember who was right. It always does. I invented the future. He invented the press release." The credits roll over footage of every modern device that runs on AC power: laptops, refrigerators, factory lines, hospital equipment, the cameras filming this show. Text on screen: "Nikola Tesla died alone in 1943 in a New York hotel room. Thomas Edison has a theme park."