Historical Figures
on
Shark Tank

"I'm asking for $1 million for 5% of Edison Electric." Sharks: "So you invented it?" Edison: "I... improved it." Tesla calls in from backstage. Kevin: "You're a patent troll, and I LOVE IT."

Flying machine, submarine, tank, parachute. "I'm asking for 500 florins for 2%." Sharks: "Pick ONE product." Da Vinci: "I cannot. They are all my children." He sketches a better version of the set during the pitch.

Arrives rolled in a carpet. "My brand is worth the entire Roman Empire." She dissolves a pearl in vinegar to prove a point about marketing. Gets a deal because the Sharks are terrified.

"I have conquered 40 territories. My growth rate is 4,000%." Sharks: "Your customer acquisition strategy seems... aggressive." Khan: "They were not customers. They were acquisitions."

Electricity, bifocals, a newspaper, and a fire department. "These are four separate businesses." Franklin: "I'm a Renaissance man. Deal with it." He flies a kite in the studio.

"I discovered two new elements." Sharks: "What's the commercial application?" Curie: "Medicine, energy, weapons—" Everyone gets very quiet. She glows faintly.

"We flew for 12 seconds." Sharks: "12 seconds?" "It was the FIRST 12 seconds." Kevin: "What's the revenue model?" "People will pay to fly." "For 12 seconds?" "We're scaling."

"I can prove the Earth revolves around the Sun." Sharks: "The church says otherwise. That's a big competitor." Galileo: "My competitor is WRONG." "Have you considered pivoting?"

"Imagine talking to someone in another city, instantly." Kevin: "Why would I want that? I have letters." The negotiation takes longer than inventing the phone.

"One currency, free trade, unified legal code." Sharks: "This is actually... brilliant?" "But your expansion strategy involves armies." "Details." Gets a deal, then tries to take over the show.