Benjamin Franklin
Pitches Four Businesses

[The elevator doors open. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN walks out wearing a fur cap, round spectacles (which he invented), and a waistcoat with ink stains. He is carrying a kite, a key on a string, a stack of newspapers, and a pair of bifocals. He appears to be in his mid-seventies but has the energy of a man half his age. He is also, inexplicably, eating cheese.]

"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. But today, I am looking for a different kind of investment. Also, does anyone want some cheese? It's very good. I brought it from France."

[He offers cheese to a production assistant. She accepts.]

"Sharks. My name is Benjamin Franklin. I am a printer, a scientist, a diplomat, a philosopher, and a Founding Father of the United States of America. I'm asking for $500,000 for 10% of my business empire. And I use the word 'empire' loosely, because I also helped create a country that specifically does not believe in empires."

Kevin: "Which business are you pitching?"

"All of them. Business #1: Electricity."

[He holds up the kite and key.]

"I have proven that lightning is electrical in nature. This discovery will power the entire modern world. Business #2: Bifocals."

[He holds up the glasses.]

"Reading glasses AND distance glasses in ONE pair. Revolutionary. Business #3: The Pennsylvania Gazette — the most read newspaper in the colonies. And Business #4: The Union Fire Company — America's first volunteer fire department."

Mark Cuban: "Ben. Those are four separate businesses."

"I'm a Renaissance man. Deal with it."

Kevin: "Ben, I'll invest in the bifocals only. $100,000 for 20%. And for the love of money, PATENT THEM."

"I will not patent knowledge meant for all mankind. But I appreciate the offer. No."

Daymond: "The newspaper. Content is king, Ben. You already have subscribers. You have distribution. Poor Richard's Almanack is a bestseller. I'll do $500,000 for 15% of the Gazette and the Almanack."

Mark Cuban: "Content IS king. And Ben, you're the best content creator of the 18th century. 'Early to bed, early to rise' — that's a TWEET, 250 years before Twitter. I'll counter: $500,000 for 12% of the media properties."

"Gentlemen. I appreciate that you see the value in the written word. I will accept Mr. Cuban's offer — $500,000 for 12% of the Pennsylvania Gazette and Poor Richard's Almanack. The electricity is free. The bifocals are free. The fire department is free. But good writing? Good writing you pay for."

[They shake hands. Franklin offers Mark Cuban some cheese. Mark accepts.]

The Pennsylvania Gazette became the most influential newspaper in colonial America. Poor Richard's Almanack sold 10,000 copies per year for 25 years. Mark Cuban's 12% stake in Franklin's media empire became the foundation of what would eventually become American journalism.

Franklin never patented any of his inventions. Not the lightning rod, not the bifocals, not the Franklin stove, not the glass armonica. Kevin O'Leary has described this as "the single greatest financial crime in American history."

The volunteer fire department model Franklin created is still used by 65% of fire departments in the United States today. It remains unprofitable. Kevin has not forgiven him.

Franklin went on to help write the Declaration of Independence, the U.S. Constitution, and the Treaty of Paris. He is currently on the $100 bill, which he would find ironic, given that he gave away most of his inventions for free.

Franklin's final words to the camera: "In this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death, taxes, and Kevin O'Leary wanting a royalty deal."