Homer Simpson's
Typical Tuesday

donuts near me

The first search of every day. The answer is always the same: every donut shop within a 15-mile radius. He has been to all of them.

Visited: yelp.com/biz/lard-lad-donuts-springfield

donuts near me open now

More urgent. He needs donuts immediately. Not in five minutes. Now.

can you eat donuts for breakfast every day

He already does. He is looking for medical validation. He will not find it.

what time does Moe's open

Moe's Tavern opens at 10 AM. He knows this. He checks every morning like it might change.

is it bad to sleep at work

Yes. It is bad. It is especially bad at a nuclear power plant. He does not care.

Did you mean: "is it illegal to sleep at work"

best places to nap at nuclear plant

Sector 7-G, behind the reactor console. He has a pillow there. It has been there for twelve years.

nuclear plant safety

He searches this. He clicks nothing. He moves on. This is the Homer Simpson approach to professional development.

nuclear plant safety ignore

He adds "ignore" to the search because he wants Google to know his intention. Google does not work that way.

how many beers is too many beers

The medical answer is two. His answer is different. His answer does not have a number.

Duff beer delivery same day

Duff does not deliver. He has written four letters to Duff corporate about this. He received one coupon.

Mr Burns net worth

His boss. The oldest and richest man in Springfield. Homer googles this when he wants to feel angry about his salary.

Visited: simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/Charles_Montgomery_Burns

how to ask boss for raise without getting fired

He has asked Mr. Burns for a raise seven times. He has been released from a trap door four of those times.

is my boss legally allowed to have a trap door

OSHA does not specifically address trap doors in the workplace. This is a regulatory gap.

Did you mean: "workplace safety complaint anonymous"

Flanders annoying why

Ned Flanders is his neighbor. Ned is kind, generous, and fit. Homer finds this personally offensive.

how to be better than neighbor

The search results suggest self-improvement. Homer was hoping for sabotage tips.

all you can eat buffet Springfield

He was once kicked out of an all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant for eating too much. He sued. He won.

Visited: yelp.com/search?q=all+you+can+eat+springfield

couch gags ranked

He is aware of the show. Or rather, the show is aware of him. The fourth wall is complicated in Springfield.

is it normal to strangle your son

No. It is not normal. It is a cartoon. He is a cartoon. This search still raises flags.

Bart Simpson detention records

Trying to parent. The detention records go back to kindergarten. They fill a binder.

Lisa Simpson achievements

He googles his daughter's achievements to feel proud. The list is very long. He does not understand most of it.

what does saxophone sound like good

Lisa plays saxophone beautifully. Homer cannot tell the difference between good and bad saxophone. He Googles it to practice.

how to say D'oh trademark

His catchphrase. It is in the Oxford English Dictionary. He is both proud and confused by this.

Visited: oed.com/view/Entry/doh

bowling league sign up

His other passion besides donuts and beer. He is a decent bowler. This is his only verifiable skill.

spider pig do pigs eat donuts

He once had a pig. The pig could walk on the ceiling. He is nostalgic for the pig.

Marge Simpson hair how tall

He is googling his wife's hair height. It is approximately two feet tall. He finds this attractive.

TV shows tonight Springfield

Itchy & Scratchy, the news with Kent Brockman, and a McBain marathon. A perfect evening.

snack ideas while watching TV

He does not need Google for this. He already has chips, beer, pork rinds, leftover donuts, and a pizza on the way.

Marge angry signs

He has done something wrong. He does not know what. He is googling the warning signs. This is progress.

Did you mean: "how to tell if wife is mad at you"

how to apologize to wife again

Again. He has apologized 14,000 times in their marriage. Each time he means it. Each time he will do the same thing again.

Visited: wikihow.com/Apologize-to-Your-Wife

flowers delivery late night Springfield

The apology flowers. The emergency bouquet. Every florist in Springfield knows his name and his credit card number.

why is Marge so patient

The most sincere search in his history. He genuinely does not understand why she stays. She stays because she loves him. He will never fully comprehend this.

I love my wife how to show it

The last search of the night. He does love her. He is terrible at showing it. But he tries. In his Homer way, he tries.