Michael Scott's
Work Computer

how to make employees like you

The first search of every workday. He has been searching this for nine years. The employees tolerate him. He interprets this as deep affection.

Visited: wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Boss

how to make employees like you fast

He added "fast" because he has a meeting in twenty minutes. Likeability is apparently not an overnight process. He disagrees.

worlds best boss mug

He bought this mug for himself. He has purchased eleven of them. They keep breaking because he gestures too enthusiastically during meetings.

improv classes Scranton PA

He believes improv is the foundation of good management. "Yes, and" is his management philosophy. The employees wish it were "No, but."

Visited: scrantonimprov.com/classes

Michael Scott motivational quotes

He is googling himself. He has said many quotable things. Most of them are not motivational. He does not realize this.

Did you mean: "motivational quotes for managers"

Wayne Gretzky you miss 100% shots quote

His favorite quote. He attributes it to Wayne Gretzky. Then he attributes it to himself. This is his peak intellectual contribution.

how to start a meeting with a joke

The jokes are never appropriate. They are never funny. He tells them anyway. Dwight laughs. No one else does.

is a hot dog a sandwich debate

He brought this up in a staff meeting. The meeting was about quarterly sales numbers. The hot dog debate lasted forty-five minutes. Productivity was zero.

Ryan Howard Instagram

Ryan. The temp. The love of Michael's professional life. He checks Ryan's Instagram four times daily. Ryan has a restraining order. Michael views it as a formality.

Visited: instagram.com/ryanhoward

Ryan Howard Instagram private why

Ryan made his account private. Michael takes this personally. It is personal. Ryan specifically blocked him.

how to declare bankruptcy

He does not understand how bankruptcy works. He shouted "I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY" in the office. He believed that was the legal process. It is not.

Did you mean: "filing for bankruptcy Pennsylvania"

can you declare bankruptcy by saying it out loud

No. You cannot. But he searched it to confirm. He is disappointed in the legal system.

Dunder Mifflin stock price

The stock has been declining for years. He checks it daily. He does not understand stocks. He thinks the stock price reflects how good a boss he is.

Visited: google.com/finance/DUND

how to manage people who are smarter than you

This is about Oscar. And Jim. And Toby. And basically everyone except Dwight and Kevin. He manages them through enthusiasm and a complete lack of self-awareness.

Chili's Scranton reservation

Chili's is his favorite restaurant. He has been banned from two locations. He calls it his "signature restaurant." The staff calls security.

Visited: chilis.com/locations/scranton-pa

am I banned from Chili's how to check

He is banned. He knows he is banned. He checks anyway. Hope springs eternal in the heart of Michael Gary Scott.

Toby Flenderson is he the worst

Toby is HR. Michael hates Toby with the fire of a thousand suns. Toby is mild, inoffensive, and polite. Michael finds this unforgivable.

how to get rid of HR person legally

He has asked corporate to transfer Toby seven times. Corporate has declined seven times. Toby remains. Michael suffers.

Dundie Awards trophy supplier

The Dundies. His annual awards ceremony. Categories include "Hottest in the Office" and "Bushiest Beaver." HR has shut it down twice. He persists.

Visited: trophydepot.com/custom-awards

how to make a documentary about yourself

There is a documentary crew filming him. He loves it. He plays to the camera constantly. The documentary is about the office, not about him. He does not accept this distinction.

Jan Levinson phone number

His ex. Their relationship was turbulent. She threw a Dundie at his plasma TV. He still calls her. She does not answer. This is healthy.

Did you mean: "Jan Levinson-Gould"

Holly Flax Nashua NH

Holly. The one who got away. The one who understood him. She is in Nashua. He is in Scranton. The distance is 284 miles. He has calculated it forty times.

party planning ideas office birthday

He is planning a birthday party. The Party Planning Committee (Angela) will not let him participate. He is planning a rival party. It will have a bouncy castle.

Threat Level Midnight script where to publish

His action movie screenplay. He is the star, the writer, and the director. He plays Agent Michael Scarn. It is the worst and best thing he has ever created.

Visited: self-publish-screenplay.com

what do best friends do after work

He does not have a best friend. He has employees he forces to socialize with him. There is a difference. He does not know the difference.

Dwight Schrute beet farm directions

Dwight is his most loyal employee. Michael visits the beet farm occasionally. He does not like beets. He goes anyway. This is friendship.

Visited: maps.google.com/schrute-farms-scranton

things to do alone on a Tuesday night Scranton

The search that breaks your heart. Michael Scott, surrounded by people all day, goes home to an empty condo every night. The comedy is the armor.

best movies about bosses who everyone loves

He watches management movies for inspiration. He has watched every season of Undercover Boss. He cries during every episode.

do my employees actually like me honestly

He knows the answer. He searches anyway. The search results cannot help him. Only the camera crew sees this search. They say nothing.

how to be a good person not just a good boss

The most Michael Scott search of all. He is a good person. He has always been a good person. He is also the most exhausting person in any room. Both can be true.

that's what she said origin

The last search of the day. His catchphrase. His legacy. He will say it again tomorrow. At least twelve times. Maybe more. That's what she said.

Visited: knowyourmeme.com/memes/thats-what-she-said