Richard
Branson

Class Features

Feats & Traits

A gleaming, impossibly expensive flying vessel that took 20 years and $1.5 billion gold pieces to build. It can carry six passengers to the edge of the atmosphere for approximately four minutes of weightlessness. The rogue was the first to ride it, naturally, because he would never ask anyone to do something he wouldn't do himself — and also because it was excellent for press photos. The airship has been "almost ready" for commercial service since 2004. It is always almost ready. This is the rogue's entire brand.

• •Flight ceiling: Edge of atmosphere (264,000 feet)
• •Passenger capacity: 6 (plus 2 pilots who are doing the actual work)
• •Cost: $1.5 billion GP over 20 years
• •Duration of weightlessness: ~4 minutes
• •Number of delays: Lost count. Everyone lost count.
• •Branson rode it first. Of course he did.

A 74-acre private island in the British Virgin Islands that the rogue purchased at age 28 for $180,000 — a price so absurdly low it should be investigated by the DM. The island serves as his primary base of operations, complete with luxury villas, a giant chess set, and an uncanny number of lemurs. When pressed on why he has lemurs, the rogue simply smiles. The island has burned down twice. He rebuilt it both times. He will probably rebuild it again. The lemurs survived both fires.

• •Size: 74 acres of Caribbean paradise
• •Purchase price: $180,000 (the DM suspects loaded dice)
• •Current value: Estimated $100 million+
• •Amenities: Infinity pools, tennis courts, giant chess, lemurs
• •Times destroyed by fire: 2. Times rebuilt: 2.
• •Lemur survival rate: 100%

A hot air balloon that the rogue has used to attempt multiple record-breaking ocean and world crossings. Each attempt has involved at least one near-death experience. In 1998, he attempted to circumnavigate the globe and had to be rescued from the Pacific Ocean. In 1991, he crossed the Pacific in a balloon and nearly froze to death when the capsule's heating failed at 36,000 feet. The balloon is technically cursed — anyone who uses it will almost certainly face mortal peril — but the rogue considers this a feature, not a bug.

• •Grants advantage on Performance checks (the press coverage alone)
• •Cursed: Pilot must make DC 20 CON save every 4 hours or face mortal peril
• •Has crossed the Atlantic (1987) and Pacific (1991)
• •Failed to circumnavigate the globe (1998) — rogue was fished from the ocean
• •Each flight generates approximately $50 million in free publicity
• •Insurance companies refuse to cover it

A vast collection of business ventures spanning every industry known to civilization: airlines, trains, music, mobile phones, banking, cola, vodka, bridal wear, cosmetics, space travel, health clubs, and — briefly — a wedding dress shop. At least 200 of these have failed. The rogue does not care. He starts a new one roughly every 8 days. Virgin Cola was destroyed by the Coca-Cola Guild. Virgin Brides lasted 3 years. Virgin Cars, Virgin Vie, Virgin Digital — all fallen. But Virgin Atlantic flies, Virgin Galactic exists, and the rogue is still richer than most kingdoms.

• •Total ventures: ~400
• •Success rate: ~50% (generous estimate)
• •Industries covered: All of them. Literally all of them.
• •Most embarrassing failure: Virgin Cola (challenged Coca-Cola, lost immediately)
• •Most surprising success: Virgin Atlantic (challenged British Airways, won)
• •Naming convention: Everything is called Virgin because branding is a cantrip

A physical notebook that the rogue carries at all times and fills with handwritten ideas, observations, and business plans. He has kept this practice since his early adventuring days and credits it as one of the key reasons for his success. The notebook is enchanted: any idea written in it has a 50% chance of becoming a business within 6 months. The other 50% become businesses that fail within 18 months. The rogue views both outcomes as equally valuable because he has never met a lesson he didn't want to learn the hard way.

• •Carried at all times — even while kitesurfing (waterproof ink)
• •50% of ideas become successful businesses
• •50% of ideas become educational failures
• •100% of ideas become businesses (he cannot stop himself)
• •Contains more business plans than most universities teach in a decade
• •Dyslexic handwriting adds +2 to Deception (nobody can read his plans)

Awarded by the Queen of England for "services to entrepreneurship." The rogue was knighted in 2000, which means his official title is Sir Richard Branson. He uses this title approximately never, preferring to be called "Richard" or "that madman on the balloon." The insignia grants advantage on Persuasion checks within the British Isles and disadvantage on Stealth checks everywhere (he is the least subtle knight in the realm).

• •Title: Sir Richard Branson
• •Advantage on Persuasion in British territories
• •Disadvantage on Stealth (everywhere)
• •Times he has introduced himself as 'Sir Richard': approximately 3
• •Times others have called him 'that madman on the balloon': approximately 30,000

At age 16, with severe dyslexia and no formal education to speak of, the young rogue started a student magazine. Not a school newsletter — a nationally distributed magazine that interviewed Mick Jagger and John Lennon. He ran it from a phone booth because he couldn't afford an office. The headmaster of his school reportedly said, "Congratulations, Branson. I predict that you will either go to prison or become a millionaire." He did both. Briefly. The prison part was for tax evasion. He paid a fine. Then he made more money.

Outcome: Started a magazine at 16. Headmaster was technically correct on both counts.

The rogue opened a record shop, then a recording studio, then a record label. Virgin Records signed the Sex Pistols when no other label would touch them — because the rogue has never met a controversial decision he didn't want to make. The label grew to sign Genesis, the Rolling Stones, Janet Jackson, and the Spice Girls. In 1992, he sold Virgin Records to EMI for $1 billion because he needed the gold to fund his airline, which was hemorrhaging money at the time. Selling the record label reportedly made him cry. The airline survived. The records are still good.

Outcome: Built a legendary label. Sold it. Cried. Used the money to fly planes.

The rogue decided that the best way to promote his new airline was to cross the Atlantic Ocean in a hot air balloon. On the first attempt in 1987, the balloon went off course and nearly crashed into the sea. The rogue survived by jumping into the ocean at the last moment. He then crossed the Pacific in 1991, nearly dying when the balloon climbed to 42,000 feet and temperatures dropped to -60 degrees. Any reasonable person would have stopped. The rogue attempted a third crossing — around the entire world — in 1998 and had to be rescued from the ocean. Again. He has described these as "some of the best experiences of my life."

Outcome: Nearly died three times. Called it fun. The airline got excellent publicity.

British Airways, the most powerful airline guild in the realm, launched a "dirty tricks" campaign against Virgin Atlantic — hacking into Virgin's computers, poaching customers, and spreading rumors. Most rogues would have been destroyed. Branson sued. And won. BA's CEO resigned in disgrace. Branson distributed the settlement money — £500,000 — to his staff, giving each employee what became known as "the BA bonus." He then drove a tank through Times Square and fired a cannonball at a Coca-Cola sign to promote Virgin Cola. The cola failed. The stunt was spectacular.

Outcome: Defeated British Airways. Drove a tank through Manhattan. Normal Tuesday.

In 2004, the rogue announced he would build a commercial spaceship. Everyone nodded politely. 17 years and $1.5 billion later, on July 11, 2021 — nine days before Jeff Bezos's flight — the rogue blasted into space aboard VSS Unity. He wore a blue flight suit. He floated in zero gravity. He was 70 years old. He beat Bezos to space by nine days and smiled about it in every interview for the rest of the year. The rivalry between the rogue and the artificer Bezos has fueled more tabloid content than any party conflict in D&D history.

Outcome: Reached space. Beat Bezos by 9 days. Smiled for 6 months straight.

The rogue has been involved in so many near-death kitesurfing incidents that his party members have stopped keeping count. In 2016, he crashed his bicycle on Virgin Gorda at night, flew over the handlebars, and broke his cheek, tore ligaments, and cracked his knee. He posted photos from the hospital bed, smiling. In another incident, he was kitesurfing when Hurricane Irma hit Necker Island. He sheltered in the wine cellar. The island was destroyed. He rebuilt it. He went kitesurfing the next week. The DM has considered giving him Legendary Resistance because he clearly cannot be killed by conventional means.

Outcome: Destroyed by hurricane. Survived. Went kitesurfing. Rebuilt island.

At an age when most adventurers retire to their estates and write memoirs, the rogue continues to launch new ventures at a rate of roughly one per week. Virgin Voyages (cruise ships), Virgin Hotels, Virgin Hyperloop, Virgin Orbit (rockets — this one failed and went bankrupt). Each new venture follows the same pattern: the rogue has an idea, writes it in his notebook, announces it with a spectacular stunt, and then either builds an empire or writes off the losses with a smile. He has said, "My biggest motivation? Just to keep challenging myself. I see life almost like one long university education." The DM believes he may be impossible to level down.

Outcome: 400 ventures. 200 failures. Still smiling. Still kitesurfing.

Official Ruling: Chaotic Good

Branson is the purest Chaotic Good in the billionaire D&D universe, and it isn't particularly close. He acts with genuine goodwill toward others (Good) while maintaining an almost pathological inability to follow rules, conventions, or common sense (Chaotic). He gives generously to charity, treats his employees well, and genuinely seems to enjoy making people happy — but he does it by driving tanks through Manhattan, nearly dying in hot air balloons, and starting cola companies to fight Coca-Cola. He has never encountered a boundary he didn't want to cross, an ocean he didn't want to fly over, or a business he didn't want to start. This is textbook Chaotic Good: good intentions executed through maximum chaos.