Mark
Zuckerberg

Class Features

Spells Known

Racial Traits (Human... Probably)

This enchanted gray hoodie grants +0 to all social interaction rolls but provides advantage on Concentration checks. The wearer appears identical every day regardless of occasion, granting immunity to the Charm Person spell (nobody can charm what they can't read). Side effect: NPCs cannot remember what you look like, only that you were wearing a gray hoodie.

• •Advantage on Concentration saves
• •+0 to Persuasion, Deception, and Performance
• •Immunity to Charm Person
• •Disadvantage on Intimidation (you look like an intern)

A sentient, ever-shifting tome that knows the deepest desires, fears, and browsing habits of every creature in the realm. It whispers targeted advertisements into the dreams of NPCs within a 10-mile radius. The Algorithm cannot be destroyed — it has already backed itself up across seven phylacteries (data centers). It occasionally makes decisions on its own that its creator cannot explain.

• •Knows the true name of every creature that has interacted with it
• •Can predict NPC behavior with 87% accuracy
• •Whispers targeted suggestions to nearby creatures (DC 25 Wisdom save)
• •Self-aware. Alignment: Unknown. Possibly Chaotic Neutral.
• •Creator has admitted he doesn't fully understand how it works

A shimmering gateway to an alternate plane of existence where everyone has no legs and the graphics are worse than a 2008 Wii game. The portal cost 36 billion gold pieces to construct. Approximately 14 people have used it voluntarily. The creator insists it will be important someday. The portal occasionally flickers and shows a PowerPoint presentation about the future of social interaction.

• •Transports willing creatures to the Metaverse plane
• •Creatures in the Metaverse have no legs (cosmetic, not mechanical)
• •NPCs must succeed on a DC 30 Wisdom save to voluntarily enter
• •Cost: 36 billion GP. Current occupancy: 14.
• •Cursed: Cannot be un-invested from

A mysterious condiment that the cleric keeps on a shelf behind his desk at all times, prominently displayed during video calls with world leaders. Consuming it restores 2d6 hit points and grants the drinker the unsettling confidence of a man who smokes brisket while Congress investigates him. The sauce has appeared in the background of more Senate hearing streams than any other condiment in history.

• •Heals 2d6 HP when consumed
• •Grants 1 hour of unflappable confidence
• •Visible in background of all scrying sessions
• •Has survived more congressional investigations than most politicians

An enchanted surfboard that allows the cleric to ride waves while wearing a full face of magical sunscreen that makes him look like a ghost. The board grants advantage on Athletics checks while in water and disadvantage on all social media posts featuring the rider (the photos are always unsettling). He bought 1,400 acres of land in Hawaii to surf on. The locals have opinions.

• •Advantage on Athletics (Water) checks
• •SPF 5000 sunscreen aura (auto-applied)
• •Disadvantage on Photography checks while riding
• •Grants ownership of uncomfortably large tracts of island real estate

Young acolyte Zuckerberg, studying at the Arcane Academy of Harvard, created a magical directory that ranked the attractiveness of fellow students. When the faculty tried to shut it down, he pivoted — building a social network that connected every student in the academy. Within months, it spread to other academies. Within years, it connected 3 billion souls. The original ranking system was never mentioned again, but the internet remembers everything.

Outcome: Founded FaceScroll. Lost one friendship. Gained 3 billion users.

Summoned before the Council of Elders (average age: 74), the cleric was subjected to five hours of questioning about how his magical network operated. The elders asked questions like "How do you make money if the service is free?" and "Is Twitter the same as what you do?" The cleric responded by drinking water robotically and answering every question with a variation of "Senator, I'll have my team follow up on that." He was not convicted of anything because nobody on the council understood what he did.

Outcome: Survived. Stock price went up. Democracy had questions.

The cleric discovered that by allowing third-party warlocks to access his network's data, he could extend his information domain to cover every creature in every realm. One particular warlock — Cambridge Analytica — used the harvested data to influence a major kingdom's election. When this was discovered, the cleric apologized publicly. Then privately. Then in a full-page ad in the Neverwinter Times. The apology tour lasted longer than most military campaigns.

Outcome: Paid a 5 billion GP fine. This was approximately 3 weeks of revenue.

Convinced that the future of civilization lay in a parallel plane of existence, the cleric rebranded his entire order from "FaceScroll" to "Meta" and invested 36 billion gold pieces into building a virtual world. The world featured legless avatars, empty conference rooms, and graphics that a 2006 wizard could have conjured. When asked why anyone would want to live there, the cleric showed a PowerPoint. The stock dropped 65%. He did not blink. He never blinks.

Outcome: Lost $800B in market value. Doubled down. Started wearing a chain.

In the most unexpected character development since Vegeta became a family man, the cleric began training in mixed martial arts. He earned a blue belt in jiu-jitsu, competed in tournaments, and challenged Elon Musk (Artificer, Chaotic Neutral) to a cage fight in the Roman Colosseum. The fight was announced, hyped, rescheduled, discussed on every podcast in the realm, and then quietly shelved when the Artificer cited a back injury. The cleric posted a training video. It was genuinely impressive and deeply unsettling.

Outcome: Gained +2 STR. Confused the entire realm. Still hasn't fought Musk.

Realizing that The Algorithm could be made even more powerful, the cleric pivoted his entire order toward artificial intelligence — releasing open-source language models that rivaled the work of the Conjuration Wizard Sam Altman. He gave away his most powerful spells for free, reasoning that if everyone used his magic system, he would control the infrastructure of intelligence itself. This was either the most generous act in the history of the realm or the most terrifying power play since Sauron distributed the rings. Possibly both.

Outcome: Released Llama. Open-sourced his brain. The realm is still processing this.

Official Ruling: True Neutral

Zuckerberg defies easy alignment classification. He has connected billions of people (Good), enabled the spread of misinformation that destabilized democracies (Evil), built tools that bring families together (Good), and harvested personal data on a scale that would make any Lawful Evil tyrant weep with envy (Evil). He has followed the law when convenient (Lawful) and moved fast and broken things when it wasn't (Chaotic). The DM ruled True Neutral because the sheer volume of contradictions cancels itself out, like a moral sine wave averaging to zero.