Finance Meets Gen Z
IF FAMOUS INVESTORS
HAD TIKTOK
12 fake TikTok profiles for Wall Street legends. Buffett's Cherry Coke ASMR has 47M views. Munger is ranting about crypto between dance trends. Burry's account is private. Obviously.
Warren Buffett
@oracleofomaha
Just a guy from Omaha who likes Cherry Coke and compound interest. 93 years young. Still using a flip phone to post this. My granddaughter helped me set this up.
Cherry Coke ASMR while reading annual reports
POV: You ask me about crypto (I don't stop talking for 40 minutes)
Things I've eaten at every Berkshire meeting since 1965 (Part 1 of 47)
Me explaining compound interest to my great-grandkids using M&Ms
Pinned:Sir this is a TikTok not a shareholders meeting — @CathieWoodARK
Charlie Munger
@munger_rants
100 years of wisdom in 60-second rants. Following: Warren (that's it). I think TikTok is a terrible platform but my takes go viral so here I am.
Ranking every generation's financial literacy (you're all failing)
60 seconds of me saying 'that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard'
Books that changed my life (this is going to take multiple parts)
Pinned:Charlie doesn't know he's posting these. I set up his phone. — Warren
Ray Dalio
@principles_daily
Pain + Reflection = Progress. Principles for dealing with the changing world order. Meditating since before it was cool. I type all my principles in the Notes app.
My morning routine (meditation, principles, and a smoothie that costs $47)
The changing world order explained with dominos (literal dominos)
Radical transparency: rating my employees' TikToks 1-10
Pinned:This man wrote 600 principles and still can't figure out the duet feature
Cathie Wood
@CathieWoodARK
CEO of ARK Invest. Innovation is the future. 5-year time horizon. I go live every time a stock drops 40% to explain why it's actually bullish.
LIVE: Why this 60% drawdown is actually the biggest opportunity of our lifetime
Responding to my haters with a 47-slide presentation
Me buying more TSLA every time it drops (supercut)
Pinned:Ma'am my 401k needs CPR — @anonymous_bagholder
Michael Burry
@cassandra_burry
[Account Private] [Bio deleted] [Bio re-added] [Bio deleted again] I warned you.
[DELETED] Something about a crash that hasn't happened yet
[DELETED] One word: 'Sell.'
[DELETED] 47 minutes of him playing drums to death metal
Pinned:This account changes between public and private 4x daily
Carl Icahn
@icahn_attack
Activist investor. If your company is badly managed, I'm coming for it. I don't follow anyone because that implies they're leading. Age is just a number when you're angry enough.
Rating Fortune 500 CEOs and explaining why they should be fired
Storytime: the time I bought an airline just to argue with the CEO
Duet with @CathieWoodARK explaining why innovation without profits is just expenses
Pinned:He bought 10% of TikTok's parent company during this rant
Peter Lynch
@buy_what_you_know
Invest in what you know. If you like the store, research the stock. Retired but I can't stop analyzing everything I buy at the grocery store.
Walking through Costco and finding 6 stock ideas in 10 minutes
My wife asked me to stop analyzing the P/E ratio of her shampoo brand
10 baggers I found at the mall (a TikTok in 3 parts)
Pinned:This man sees a McDonald's and starts calculating free cash flow
Jim Cramer
@jimcramer_LIVE
BUY BUY BUY! SELL SELL SELL! Mad Money host. I follow everyone because I'm passionate about the MARKET! Sound effects included. NOT financial advice (legally required to say that).
SOUND BOARD CHALLENGE: Can you guess the stock from my reaction sounds?
Speedrunning stock picks: 30 tickers in 60 seconds (don't try this at home)
Reacting to the Inverse Cramer ETF in real time (I'm not crying you're crying)
Pinned:Whatever he says, do the opposite — @inversecramerfund
Nancy Pelosi
@speaker_trades
Former Speaker. Full-time legislator. Part-time options trader with suspiciously good timing. My husband Paul handles the investments. I definitely don't look at his screen.
My stock picks this week (posted 48 hours before the committee hearing, total coincidence)
GRWM: Getting ready for a hearing about tech regulation (while holding NVDA calls)
Paul accidentally left the TD Ameritrade screen open during my livestream
Pinned:The greatest trader of our generation and she doesn't even 'trade' — @wallstreetbets
Jack Bogle
@index_fund_jack
Founder of Vanguard. Created the index fund. My entire TikTok strategy: don't pick individual TikToks, just scroll the For You page at the lowest cost. Following: Vanguard's official account.
Reacting to FinTok stock picks (they all underperform the S&P 500)
My portfolio: 1 slide, 2 funds, 0 stress. That's the video.
Stitching every 'hot stock tip' TikTok with the same response: 'Just buy the index'
Pinned:This man ended an entire industry with one product
George Soros
@soros_reflexivity
Broke the Bank of England. Reflexivity theorist. Philanthropist. The conspiracy theories about me are wilder than my actual trades, and my trades broke a central bank.
Storytime: How I made $1 billion in a day by shorting the British pound
Reading conspiracy theories about myself (Part 1 of 200)
Explaining reflexivity theory using TikTok trends as an example
Pinned:The man who broke the Bank of England can't figure out TikTok filters
Glen Bradford
@DoNotLose
Built 1,050+ web pages with AI while kitesurfing. Options record: 1W-8L. Holding FNMAS until privatization or death. I made this whole page instead of checking my portfolio.
POV: You hold GSE preferred stock and check your phone during a kite session
Building a website with Claude Code while kitesurfing (it actually worked)
My options trading record: 1 win, 8 losses (full transparency)
Pinned:At least he's honest — @nobody
I made these instead of checking my actual portfolio. Buffett would disapprove, but his TikTok algorithm would probably serve him this page anyway. If any of these investors actually join TikTok, I want credit for manifesting it. FNMAS to the moon.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do any famous investors actually use TikTok?
Not in the way we're imagining here. Some finance personalities post investing content on TikTok, but Warren Buffett is not doing Cherry Coke ASMR and Charlie Munger was not ranting about crypto between dance trends. These are comedy profiles imagining what would happen if Wall Street legends joined Gen Z's favorite app.
What is FinTok?
FinTok is the finance corner of TikTok where creators share investing tips, budgeting hacks, and stock picks in 60-second videos. It's where 22-year-olds explain options trading over lo-fi beats. Some of it is genuinely helpful. Some of it is terrifying. Buffett would probably call it 'a lot of activity.'
Would Warren Buffett actually go viral on TikTok?
Absolutely. An elderly billionaire eating McDonald's breakfast, drinking Cherry Coke, and casually dropping wisdom like 'be greedy when others are fearful' would break the algorithm. The wholesome grandpa energy alone would get him 50 million followers in a week.
Why is Michael Burry's TikTok account private?
Because that's what Michael Burry does with every social media account. He's famous for posting cryptic warnings on Twitter, deleting everything, going private, then reappearing weeks later with a one-word tweet about the impending doom of civilization. TikTok would be no different.
Who would have the most followers — Buffett or Elon?
Elon would have more followers (he'd probably buy TikTok), but Buffett would have higher engagement. Every Buffett video would be 30 seconds of folksy wisdom that gets screenshot, quote-tweeted, and turned into a motivational poster. Elon would post memes at 3 AM and move markets.
I Document Every Trade — Even the Losses
Options record: 1W-8L. Net worth: 100% GSE preferred. Get the unfiltered updates.
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