Poor Richard's Podcast
with Benjamin Franklin

Early to Bed, Early to Rise (I Don't Actually Do This)

Ben opens his podcast by addressing the most famous quote attributed to him and admitting he doesn't follow it. "I wrote that in Poor Richard's Almanack to sell copies," he says. "In reality, I stay up until 2 AM writing pamphlets, drinking Madeira wine, and arguing with John Adams by letter. I rise at approximately 10 AM and take an 'air bath,' which means I sit naked by an open window for an hour. This is not in the almanac." He then reads his actual daily schedule, which includes "two hours of productive work, three hours of socializing, and four hours of what I call 'philosophical leisure' and my wife calls 'sitting around.'"

Guest: Deborah Read Franklin (wife, fact-checker, eye-roller)

The Electricity Experiment: Why You Shouldn't Fly a Kite in a Storm

Ben describes the famous kite experiment of 1752 with a level of casual recklessness that horrifies his producer. "The hypothesis was simple: is lightning electrical in nature? The method was also simple: fly a kite into a thunderstorm and see what happens. The safety precautions were: none. I brought my son William to help, which in retrospect was irresponsible parenting but excellent mentoring." He admits the experiment could have killed him, notes that Georg Wilhelm Richmann tried a similar experiment in Russia and did die, and concludes: "I invented the lightning rod because I nearly died without one. Necessity is the mother of invention. Near-death is the father."

Guest: William Franklin (son, kite-holder, later became a Loyalist which Ben will bring up in every subsequent episode)

How to Write an Almanac That Pays Your Bar Tab

Ben discusses the business model behind Poor Richard's Almanack, which he published from 1732 to 1758. It was basically an 18th-century blog monetized through folksy wisdom and astrology predictions he didn't believe in. "People bought it for the weather forecasts, which were wrong, and the proverbs, which I mostly stole from other languages and rephrased," he says. "A penny saved is a penny earned? I adapted that from a Welsh saying. Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead? I read that in a French pamphlet. Content creation has always been curation." Annual revenue: enough to retire at age 42.

Guest: No guest — Ben performs all the voices from Poor Richard himself

Diplomacy: How I Charmed France into Fighting for Us

The crown jewel of the series. Ben describes his time as ambassador to France (1778-1785), during which he convinced the most powerful monarchy in Europe to bankroll a revolution against monarchy. He did this by wearing a fur cap (the French loved it), attending every salon in Paris (the French loved him), and pretending to be a simple frontier philosopher (the French found this adorable). "I was 70 years old, I barely spoke French, and I convinced King Louis XVI to spend his treasury fighting Britain," he says. "This is called diplomacy. It is also called being extremely charming while technically committing treason."

Guest: Marquis de Lafayette ("He made us believe in America before America believed in itself")

13 Virtues I Made Up and Mostly Don't Follow

Ben reads his famous list of 13 virtues — temperance, silence, order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity, and humility — and gives himself an honest grade on each. Temperance: "C-minus. I drink a reasonable amount of wine, which for me means a bottle." Silence: "F. I have never been silent in my life. I talk at dinners, I talk in print, I talk to strangers. I am talking right now." Chastity: "I will skip this one." Humility: "I added this one last because someone told me I was arrogant. I am not arrogant. I am simply correct about most things."

Guest: Cotton Mather (whose "Essays to Do Good" inspired the list and who Ben admits was "annoyingly right about virtue")

I Started the First Library, Fire Department, and University (You're Welcome)

Ben rattles off his civic achievements with the energy of someone updating a very long resume. The Library Company of Philadelphia (1731): "Books were expensive, so I invented sharing. Today they call it a library. You're welcome." The Union Fire Company (1736): "Houses kept burning down, so I organized people to stop them. This seems obvious. It was not obvious in 1736." The University of Pennsylvania (1749): "I wanted a place where people could learn practical things, not just Latin and Greek. The professors were furious." He also mentions the postal system, the hospital, and the paving of streets, then asks: "What have you done this week?"

Guest: Thomas Bond (co-founder of Pennsylvania Hospital, who Ben describes as "the only person who matches my energy")

Bifocals, Swim Fins, and the Glass Armonica: My Side Projects

An entire episode dedicated to Franklin's inventions that weren't electricity-related. Bifocals: "I was tired of switching between two pairs of glasses, so I cut them in half and glued them together. This took me twenty minutes. Opticians have been charging you $400 for this for 250 years." Swim fins: "I attached wooden paddles to my hands and swam faster. I was eleven years old. This is my earliest invention and frankly still one of my best." The glass armonica: "I built a musical instrument from spinning glass bowls. Mozart and Beethoven composed for it. Marie Antoinette played it. Then people said it caused insanity. It does not cause insanity. Probably."

Guest: Mozart (via letter, expressing admiration for the glass armonica and mild concern about the insanity rumors)

The Constitutional Convention: How to Compromise with People Who Are Wrong

Ben was 81 years old at the Constitutional Convention, the oldest delegate by decades. He describes the experience as "four months of brilliant men arguing about things I settled in my own mind thirty years ago." He advocated for proportional representation, argued against presidential salaries (overruled), and proposed that sessions open with prayer (also overruled). His greatest contribution: the speech on the final day urging everyone to sign despite their objections. "I told them that I had lived long enough to know I was sometimes wrong," he says. "This was the most difficult sentence I have ever spoken."

Guest: James Madison (who took notes on everything and confirmed that Franklin fell asleep twice during debates)

My Complicated Relationship with My Son (He Became a Loyalist)

The emotional episode. William Franklin, Ben's son, served as the last colonial Governor of New Jersey and remained loyal to the British Crown during the Revolution. Ben had him arrested. They barely spoke for the rest of their lives. "I do not discuss this publicly," Ben says, and then discusses it publicly for 65 minutes. "I gave him everything — an education, a career, a front-row seat to the kite experiment. He chose the King." The episode includes a rare moment of vulnerability when Ben admits: "I was perhaps not the best father. I was busy inventing things and starting a country. These are valid reasons but they are also excuses."

Guest: No guest — William was invited and declined

The Ladies of Paris: A Personal Episode (Deborah, Please Skip This One)

Ben addresses his reputation as a prolific flirt with characteristic transparency. In Paris, he was enormously popular with French women, exchanging long, witty letters with multiple admirers. "I was 70 years old, overweight, and wearing a fur cap," he says. "And yet. The key to charm is this: be genuinely interested in the other person. Ask questions. Listen to the answers. Also, it helps to be the most famous American in the world." He reads select letters aloud, heavily edited. His producer asks about Deborah. "Deborah and I had an understanding," he says. "The understanding was that she stayed in Philadelphia and I stayed in Paris."

Guest: Madame Helvétius (who reportedly turned down his marriage proposal and remained his close friend)

Abolition: I Changed My Mind and So Should You

The most serious episode. Ben owned enslaved people earlier in his life and ran advertisements for the sale of enslaved people in his newspaper. In his final years, he became president of the Pennsylvania Abolition Society and petitioned Congress to end slavery. "I was wrong," he says, simply. "I was wrong for decades. I profited from something that was evil. I do not say this to earn forgiveness. I say it because the truth matters more than comfort." He argues passionately for immediate abolition and notes that his petition was tabled by Congress. "They will deal with this eventually," he says. "It will cost them a war. I have told them so."

Guest: Benjamin Rush (fellow abolitionist and friend)

Season Finale: My Epitaph (I Wrote It Myself, Obviously)

Ben closes the season by reading the epitaph he wrote for himself at age 22: "The body of B. Franklin, Printer, like the cover of an old book, its contents torn out and stripped of its lettering and gilding, lies here, food for worms. But the work shall not be lost, for it will, as he believed, appear once more in a new and more elegant edition, revised and corrected by the Author." He then notes that his actual gravestone just reads "Benjamin and Deborah Franklin" because "in the end, simplicity wins." He reflects on his life and says: "I have been a printer, a scientist, a diplomat, a legislator, and a philosopher. But I would like to be remembered as someone who was useful." Twenty thousand people attended his funeral.

Guest: All previous guests (including a very reluctant John Adams)

BiFocal Vision Premium Eyewear

"See near AND far with one pair of glasses. Invented by our podcast host in 1784, now available in 47 stylish frames. BiFocal Vision: Because switching glasses is for people who haven't met Benjamin Franklin. Use code POORRICHARD for two pairs for the price of one (a penny saved, after all)."

Ben's note: "I invented these because I was tired. People have turned my laziness into a $140 billion industry. This is the American dream."

KeyChain Accessories Co.

"Premium key accessories for the modern American. Our Lightning Collection features keys attached to silk ribbons — perfect for storm experiments and everyday carry. NOT for use in actual thunderstorms. We cannot stress this enough. Please do not fly our products in storms."

Ben's note: "The legal disclaimer on this advertisement is longer than the advertisement itself. This is what happens when lawyers get involved. I should have invented tort reform."

Almanack Premium Planners

"Organize your year like Benjamin Franklin organized the 18th century. Our daily planner includes space for virtues tracking, aphorism journaling, and weather predictions (accuracy not guaranteed, just like the original). Each planner comes with 365 original Franklin proverbs, only 60% of which he stole from other languages."

Ben's note: "I have reviewed this product and it is adequate. The font is wrong — I would have used Caslon — but the margins are acceptable."

He takes credit for everything. He charms every person he meets. He is infuriating, overconfident, and impossible to dislike. I have spent thirty years being annoyed by this man and I am giving him five stars because he is, against all my wishes, correct about most things. This is the worst review I have ever written.

Dr. Franklin is the most versatile mind in the history of our Republic. I once watched him defuse a diplomatic crisis, propose a scientific experiment, and compose a drinking song in the same afternoon. If I had half his range, I would have invented the lightning rod. Instead, I wrote the Declaration and he edited it. His edits were better.

This man convinced my closest ally to fund a rebellion against me. He did this while wearing a raccoon hat and pretending to be a simple farmer. He is not a simple farmer. He is the most dangerous propagandist in the Western Hemisphere. One star. I hope he is never on currency. [Editor's note: He is on the $100 bill.]

My husband is brilliant. My husband is charming. My husband has been in Paris for nine years and writes me letters about the weather. Three stars. Come home, Benjamin. The house needs repairs and the cat misses you. I am being generous with the third star.

He gave us a library, a fire department, a university, a hospital, paved streets, a postal system, and street lighting. Our entire civic infrastructure is basically Franklin's to-do list. Five stars. We named everything after him. It is not enough.