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I was at McDonald's this morning and the cashier gave me extra napkins without asking. That's customer service. That's what investing is about.

She didn't wait for me to request them. She anticipated the need. She saw a man with an Egg McMuffin and two hash browns and she made a judgment call.

That's the kind of forward-thinking capital allocation I look for in a business. Does management hand you the napkins before you ask? Or do they make you walk back to the counter like some kind of growth investor chasing momentum?

I've been eating at this McDonald's for forty-three years. The franchise is worth more than most hedge funds. And the napkin lady? She's been there since 2004. That's a twenty-year track record of consistent napkin delivery.

Agree?

[Image: A meme of a rocket with sunglasses]

ha

I woke up at 3:47 AM today. Most people were sleeping. I chose different.

Here's what I learned about discipline from deadlifting 500 lbs before sunrise:

1. The iron doesn't care about your excuses

2. The iron doesn't care about your feelings

3. The iron doesn't care about your meeting at 9

4. The iron only respects effort

5. The iron is the most honest relationship you will ever have

By 4:15 AM I had already completed my first workout. By 4:45 AM I had completed my second workout. By 5:00 AM I was cooking 12 eggs and 4 cups of rice while journaling about gratitude.

Most CEOs check email first thing in the morning. I check my squat depth.

The alarm is a suggestion. Discipline is a choice. The gym is a church. And I am there every single morning before the sun has the audacity to show up.

Stay hard. Stay hungry. Stay grateful.

And remember: somewhere, right now, I am working out. And you are reading LinkedIn.

I hope you're having a nice day.

Excited to announce that we've renamed the metaverse. Again.

After extensive user research (I asked my AI assistant and it agreed), we've determined that 'metaverse' doesn't fully capture the scope of what we're building. Effective immediately, it will be called the 'Zuckerverse.'

Just kidding. It's called 'Meta Horizons Worlds Beyond Infinite.' We tested twelve names. This one lost the least amount of users.

In all seriousness, I'm incredibly proud of our team. We only lost $14 billion on Reality Labs this quarter, which is actually a 2% improvement over last quarter. That's momentum. That's growth mindset.

Also I can deadlift 405 now. Not relevant to the announcement but I feel like people should know.

Who's excited?

I was walking through my garden in Montecito this morning, thinking about purpose.

And it hit me. Like a wave. Like a sunrise over the Pacific. Like Gayle calling me at 6 AM on a Saturday.

We are all on a journey. And every journey starts with a single step. And every step starts with an intention. And every intention starts with a breath. And every breath is a gift.

I turned to my dogs and I said, 'We are all just walking each other home.' They didn't respond because they are dogs. But I could feel their agreement.

Today I want you to do one thing: Call someone you love and tell them you are grateful for their existence. If they don't answer, leave a voicemail. If they don't have voicemail, send a text. If they don't have a phone, write a letter. If they can't read, just sit with them in silence.

The point is presence.

You are enough. You have always been enough. Now go be enough louder.

Every year I write a letter to shareholders. This year I'm writing it to LinkedIn.

It's still Day 1.

Someone asked me what Day 2 looks like. I said: 'Day 2 is stasis. Followed by irrelevance. Followed by excruciating, painful decline. Followed by death.' That person doesn't ask me questions at parties anymore.

But here's the thing about Day 1 that people miss. Day 1 isn't about being scrappy. It's about making three decisions per day. Good ones. I wake up, I make three decisions, and then I go do my dishes.

Yes, I wash my own dishes. I've said publicly that it's the sexiest thing I do. My girlfriend was in the room when I said that. She had notes.

The point is this: customer obsession over competitor obsession. High-velocity decision making. And dishes.

Thank you for coming to my LinkedIn post.

I just reviewed a startup's pitch deck.

The market analysis was RAW. The financial projections were OVERCOOKED. The competitive landscape looked like it was prepared by someone who's never seen a spreadsheet in their LIFE.

The founder told me their company was 'pre-revenue.' I told them my grandmother's Sunday roast generates more revenue and she's been dead for twelve years.

Then they served me lunch in their office kitchen. Reheated pizza. In a MICROWAVE. I had to step outside. I needed air. I needed therapy. I needed to call my mother.

Look. I'm not saying every startup needs a Michelin star. But if your pitch deck has more typos than your menu has courses, we have a problem. And if you're reheating pizza in front of an investor, you deserve every rejection letter you've ever received.

Sort yourselves out.

Agree?

Hi everyone! Thrilled to share a personal update.

I've been reflecting on my career, and I realized something: I've been doing 'content marketing' since 2006. I just called it 'writing songs about my ex-boyfriends.'

Every album is a product launch. Every tour is a go-to-market strategy. Every breakup is market research.

My Eras Tour generated $5.7 billion in economic impact. For context, that's bigger than the GDP of 40 countries. I didn't plan that. I just wrote a song about a scarf.

Some career advice: if your employer tries to own your work, just rebuild the entire thing from scratch and re-release it. Trust me. It works. I have the data.

Also, to the person who keeps messaging me about a 'synergy opportunity' -- I will not be joining your podcast. But thank you! (heart)

Who else has re-recorded their Taylor's Version today?

I just finished my 50th book this year. Here are my top 5:

1. A 400-page academic paper on fertilizer distribution in sub-Saharan Africa

2. A 600-page report on malaria nets that I annotated so heavily it weighs more than the original

3. A novel my daughter recommended (I gave it 3 stars and wrote a 2,000-word review explaining why the protagonist's supply chain strategy was unrealistic)

4. My own book (I re-read it to check for errors. I found seven. They haunt me.)

5. The McDonald's menu (Warren made me read it. I now have opinions about the McFlurry machine.)

Reading is the single best investment you can make. I've said this before. I'll say it again in six months with a slightly different photo of me holding a book next to a window.

What are you reading?

Big announcement.

I'm pleased to share that I've accepted a position as Chief Vibes Officer at every company simultaneously.

My responsibilities include: setting the tone, maintaining the energy, and reminding leadership that no meeting should last longer than one Snoop Dogg song (approximately 4 minutes and 20 seconds).

Benefits include: unlimited PTO (Puff Time Off), a corner office with a view (if you know what I mean), and quarterly retreats with Martha Stewart where we make risotto and talk about our brand partnerships.

To my new colleagues: I look forward to synergizing with each and every one of you. My calendar is always open. Literally always. I don't know how to close it.

Fo shizzle,

Snoop

P.S. I'm also available for keynote speeches. My rate is negotiable but my rider is not.

Let me be clear.

I've been thinking about leadership. And here's what I know: leadership isn't about being the loudest voice in the room. It's about listening. It's about empathy. It's about understanding that the person across the table has a story worth hearing.

Unless they're trying to sell you a timeshare. In that case, maintain eye contact and slowly back away. Michelle taught me that.

But seriously, folks. In my years of service, the most important leadership lesson I learned is this: the best decision you'll make today is the one where you pause, breathe, and ask yourself -- 'What would Michelle do?'

The answer is always the right one. And she will also tell you what it is whether you ask or not.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to finalize my March Madness bracket. This is the year. I can feel it.

I've noticed that many LinkedIn posts lack proper formatting. Let me help.

Here's how to write a proper LinkedIn post, the Martha Stewart way:

1. Begin with a clean, well-lit photo. Natural light only. If you're using flash, you've already failed.

2. Open with an anecdote. Not a 'humble brag.' A properly structured narrative with a beginning, middle, and end. If your anecdote doesn't have a rising action, I'm scrolling past.

3. Use paragraphs. White space is the linen napkin of digital communication.

4. End with a call to action that doesn't make people want to close the app.

I learned these principles during my time at Alderson Federal Prison Camp, where I also learned how to crochet a poncho and how to maintain excellent posture during a congressional hearing.

Every experience is a learning opportunity if you season it correctly.

Now go fix your profiles. Most of them look like a potluck gone wrong.

People keep asking how I balance acting, owning a soccer team, running a gin company, a mobile company, and a production company.

The answer is: I don't. I'm drowning. This is a cry for help disguised as a LinkedIn post.

But in all seriousness, here's my productivity hack: I say yes to everything and then figure it out later. This is not a strategy anyone should copy. My therapist has explicitly told me this. Twice.

Last Tuesday I was on a Wrexham board call, approving a Mint Mobile ad, responding to a text from Hugh Jackman (he sends me inspirational quotes at 2 AM -- I'm not sure he knows how time zones work), and somehow also filming a movie where I play a guy who has too many jobs.

It's called method acting.

If any of this resonates with you, please don't reach out. I genuinely do not have time. But I appreciate the thought.

Also: Mint Mobile. $15 a month. I'm contractually obligated to mention it in every public communication.

Good morning. I'm writing this at 3:47 AM because I've been awake since 3:45 AM. Which means I've already wasted two minutes.

Today I reviewed 412 customer emails, completed my morning workout, and approved the color of a button on a screen you'll never notice. The button is 0.3% more blue than yesterday. You're welcome.

At Apple, we believe in sweating the details. Some people think that means caring about the big picture. No. It means I personally approved the radius of a corner on an icon that's 12 pixels wide. Twice. The first radius was wrong by a fraction of a millimeter. We started over.

I'd tell you more about what we're working on but I literally cannot. Legal has a notification system that alerts them if I start a sentence with 'We're excited to...' within 50 meters of a non-Apple device.

Have a great day. I'll be at my desk until 8:45 PM. Then I'll go home, sleep for seven hours, and do this again.

Sent from my iPhone.

I don't usually post on LinkedIn but I have a few thoughts on work ethic.

I rehearse a single dance move 47 times before it's ready. The 48th time is the one you see. The first 47 are mine.

I have a team of 200+ people on tour. Every single one of them knows that 'good enough' is not a phrase we use. We use 'again.' We use 'tighter.' We use 'from the top.'

Some people say I'm a perfectionist. Those people have clearly never watched me redo an entire concert setlist because the lighting on song 14 was two lumens too warm.

My advice for your career: work like no one is watching, perform like everyone is, and never ever let someone tell you that your standards are too high. Your standards are a reflection of your self-respect.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go rehearse. We open in 72 hours and I've only run the show eleven times. That's behind schedule.

You're welcome for this post.

WELCOME TO FLAVORTOWN, LINKEDIN.

I see a lot of posts on here about 'hustle culture' and 'grinding' and '10x-ing your morning routine.' Let me tell you something: the only thing I'm 10x-ing is the garlic on this pulled pork.

You know what real hustle looks like? It looks like a guy with frosted tips driving a red Camaro to a family-owned diner at 6 AM to film a segment about their biscuits. That's hustle. That's purpose. That's FLAVORTOWN.

I've been to over 1,400 restaurants on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. You know how many LinkedIn posts those restaurant owners have written? Zero. They're too busy making the best meatloaf you've ever tasted.

So here's my advice: close LinkedIn, go to your local diner, order whatever the special is, and tip 30%. That's a better investment than any course on 'thought leadership' you'll ever buy.

OUT OF BOUNDS.

Guy Fieri

Mayor, Flavortown (unincorporated)

Well, honey, I don't know what LinkedIn is but someone from my team told me I should post here, so here I am.

I've been working since I was 10 years old. I've written over 5,000 songs. I own a theme park. I've given away over 200 million books to children through the Imagination Library. And I still get up every morning, put on my wig, and show up.

People ask me what my secret is. Sugar, I'll tell you: it costs a lot of money to look this cheap. And it costs a lot of effort to make hard work look easy.

I don't have a morning routine. I just get up and go. I don't journal. I don't meditate. I don't cold plunge. I just drink my coffee and start writing songs. If that's not enough for LinkedIn, I don't know what to tell you.

The best career advice I ever got was from my mama: 'Dolly, just be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.' She also told me to always keep snacks in my purse. Both have served me well.

I love you all. Even the people who write 'Agree?' at the end of their posts.

I was driving down a dirt road in Texas the other day. Windows down. No destination.

And I thought to myself... man. LinkedIn.

What IS LinkedIn? Is it a network? Is it a platform? Or is it... a mirror? A mirror we hold up to our professional selves and say, 'Is this who I am? Is this who I want to be? Or is this just the version of me that knows how to write a bio?'

See, I think careers are like roads. Some are paved. Some are dirt. Some have potholes. And some... some are just a man in a Lincoln driving through the fog at sunset, not knowing where he's going but knowing exactly who he is.

That's a greenlight.

You know what's a red light? Updating your LinkedIn headline every three weeks. That's not personal branding. That's an identity crisis with WiFi.

Find your road. Drive it. Don't look at the GPS. The GPS doesn't know your story.

Alright, alright, alright.

I attended a leadership seminar last week. It was the worst experience of my professional life, and I once found a raw chicken inside a wellington on live television.

The speaker -- a man with a motivational quote in his email signature -- told us to 'lead with empathy.' Then he served us room-temperature coffee in a styrofoam cup. Empathy, he said. STYROFOAM.

Here's what I know about leadership after running 35 restaurants across 3 continents:

1. Your team doesn't need a TED Talk. They need clear expectations and proper mise en place.

2. Feedback should be immediate, specific, and occasionally loud.

3. If you wouldn't eat it, don't serve it. This applies to food AND quarterly reports.

4. The fish rots from the head. If your team is underperforming, look in the mirror. Then look at the fish. If the fish is also underperforming, throw it out. It's Tuesday and that fish came in on Friday.

Lead by example. Or don't lead at all. There is no 'leading with empathy while serving bad coffee.'

Now get back to work.

I own 155 Five Guys franchises, 40 fitness centers, 17 Auntie Anne's pretzel shops, a movie theater chain, and a car wash.

People say 'Shaq, that's too diversified.' I say 'Have you ever eaten a pretzel after washing your car and then worked out?' It's called a vertical ecosystem. I learned that at LSU. Or maybe the NBA. Or maybe my PhD program. I have a lot of educations.

Here's my investment thesis: if I can eat it, watch something in it, get clean in it, or sweat in it, I want to own it. That's the Shaq Portfolio Theory.

Warren Buffett says 'be fearful when others are greedy.' I say 'be hungry when others are full.' Specifically for Five Guys burgers. I eat one every Tuesday. It's research.

Also I just want everyone to know that I averaged 23.7 points per game over my career and no one on LinkedIn ever brings this up. Your feed is about disruption and synergy but nobody's disrupting the paint the way I did from 1992 to 2011.

Rings, Erneh.

I've been nominated for 21 Academy Awards. I've won three. People often ask me how I handle rejection.

The answer is: I don't think about the 18 I lost. I think about the craft. The work. The process of disappearing into someone else's life so completely that for two hours, I don't exist. I am someone else. Someone with different problems, different joys, different ways of holding a coffee cup.

That's what I think LinkedIn gets wrong. Everyone here is trying to be themselves LOUDER. More personal brand. More visibility. More 'authenticity' that somehow looks exactly like everyone else's authenticity.

What if, instead of personal branding, we practiced personal disappearing? What if we got so good at our work that the work spoke and we didn't have to?

I don't have a newsletter. I don't have a podcast. I don't have a course. I have 45 years of showing up and doing the work.

That's my LinkedIn tip. Do the work. The rest is noise.

Thank you for attending my one and only LinkedIn post. There will not be a follow-up.

ALRIGHT LINKEDIN, LISTEN UP.

I built a media empire. Hartbeat Media. We produce movies, TV shows, podcasts, and my wife's favorite content: my apology videos.

People see a comedian and think 'funny man make joke.' No. I'm a CEO. I run MEETINGS. I have a WHITEBOARD. I use BUZZWORDS. Last week I said 'let's circle back on the deliverables' and I didn't even flinch.

Here's what comedy taught me about business:

1. Know your audience. If they're not laughing, you're the problem. Same with customers.

2. Timing is everything. Don't launch your product when nobody's paying attention. Drop it like a punchline.

3. Bomb in private, kill in public. Test everything. Fail where nobody can see. Then walk on stage like you've never been wrong in your life.

Also, I'm 5 foot 2 and I've made more money than most people who are taller than me. Height is not a KPI. Say it again.

HEIGHT IS NOT A KPI.

Thank you. Good night. Wait, it's 10 AM. Good morning. I'm going to go run on a treadmill at an unreasonable speed now.

Hello. It's me.

I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to connect on LinkedIn. I tried sending an InMail but it said I needed Premium. I'm not paying for LinkedIn Premium. I have a Las Vegas residency. I can afford it. I just won't. On principle.

Anyway, I wanted to share some career advice:

Sometimes the best thing you can do for your career is take five years off, process your emotions, write an album about it, and come back making more money than ever. Corporate America calls this a 'sabbatical.' I call it 'my entire business model.'

Also, crying at work is underrated. I cry on stage in front of 4,000 people every Friday and Saturday. They pay $500 a ticket to watch. That's monetized vulnerability. That's the future of personal branding.

So next time your manager asks why you're crying at your desk, tell them you're building your brand.

Rolling in the deep (of my LinkedIn analytics),

Adele

I came to America with nothing. No money. No connections. No command of the English language. And now I'm posting on LinkedIn, which means the American Dream is alive and also confusing.

Let me tell you about failure. I was told I could never be a leading man because my accent was too thick and my body was too muscular. I became the biggest movie star in the world. They told me I could never be Governor. I became Governor. They told me LinkedIn was for professional networking. I'm using it to talk about my pet donkey, Lulu.

Lulu is a miniature donkey who lives in my house. She is not a metaphor. She is an actual donkey who eats from my kitchen table. If I can love a donkey this much, you can love your career.

Here is my advice:

1. Have a vision so clear that people think you are insane

2. Work so hard that insanity becomes credibility

3. Get a donkey

I'll be back. (On LinkedIn. Tomorrow. I post every day now. My social media team is very organized.)

Everyone keeps asking when my next album is coming out.

I built a $3 billion beauty empire, a lingerie brand, and became the youngest self-made female billionaire in America, and the most common question I get is 'But when is R9 dropping?'

Let me explain something about product launches: Fenty Beauty launched with 40 shades of foundation. FORTY. The industry standard was 12. I didn't disrupt the beauty industry by dropping an album. I disrupted it by asking 'Why can't people find foundation that matches their skin?'

That's the difference between content and commerce. Content makes people feel something for 3 minutes. Commerce makes people feel something every morning when they put on their face.

But fine. You want music? Here: the album will be ready when it's ready. In the meantime, go buy Fenty Skin. Your pores need more help than your playlist.

Agree?

I have made 117 films. Some of you think that's too many. I think it's not enough.

People ask me how I choose my roles. The answer is: I don't choose roles. Roles choose me. And also my business manager calls and says 'Nicolas, you've purchased another castle and a dinosaur skull and we need the cash flow.' So I say yes to things.

I once bought a haunted mansion in New Orleans, a pyramid tomb in the same city, two European castles, a private island in the Bahamas, a $150,000 pet octopus, and a T-Rex skull that turned out to be stolen from Mongolia. I had to give the skull back. I didn't want to talk about it then. I don't want to talk about it now. But I am talking about it. On LinkedIn.

What I've learned about financial management: money is a story we tell ourselves. And my story has a LOT of plot twists.

Career advice: say yes to everything. You might end up making 'The Wicker Man.' You might end up making 'Pig.' Both are on my resume and I stand behind every choice.

Someone told me I should 'network' on LinkedIn. So I'm networking.

Here is how I network:

1. I invite you to my home in Bedford, New York. It has 153 acres. The chickens are heritage breed. The eggs will change your life.

2. I serve a five-course meal that I prepared myself, starting at 6:30 PM sharp. If you are late, I will not mention it, but I will remember it. Forever.

3. We discuss your career over dessert. I give you advice. You take it. This is not optional.

4. You write me a handwritten thank-you note within 48 hours. On proper stationery. Not a text. Not an email. If you send me a LinkedIn message that says 'Great connecting!' I will block you.

This is how professionals network. Not by writing 'Let's grab coffee!' under someone's post like a person who has never planned anything in their life.

Networking is an art. Treat it like one.

Thank you.

You're reading this in my voice. You can't help it. It's happening right now.

I didn't ask for this gift. I simply opened my mouth one day and people started listening. Not because of what I said, but because of how it sounded. That's the power of delivery.

In business, your idea matters. But how you present it matters more. I could read your terms of service out loud and people would weep. I could narrate a spreadsheet and investors would double their commitment. This is not arrogance. This is acoustics.

My career advice is simple: find your voice. Not metaphorically. Literally. Record yourself. Listen back. Do you sound like someone you'd trust with your money? Or do you sound like someone who'd try to sell you an extended warranty?

Work on your voice. The world is listening. And right now, it sounds like a conference call where everyone forgot to unmute.

You've been reading this in my voice the entire time. You're still doing it.

Good.

Hey LinkedIn. It's your boy Posty.

I see a lot of debate on here about 'professional appearance.' People saying you need a suit and a clean headshot to be taken seriously. My headshot has 47 face tattoos in it and I've sold 80 million records.

Here's what I've learned about personal branding: BE UNDENIABLE. If your work is good enough, nobody cares what you look like. I showed up to the Grammys in Crocs. CROCS. And I won.

Some career transitions people questioned:

- Rapper to country singer? Worked.

- Face tattoos at a Nashville awards show? Worked.

- Performing Hank Williams covers with a Bud Light tallboy? Worked.

The lesson: the market rewards authenticity. It punishes imitation. Stop trying to look like a LinkedIn influencer and start looking like yourself. Even if yourself has 'Always Tired' tattooed above his eyebrows.

Anyway, I'm gonna go play guitar on my front porch now. In my Crocs. Professionally.

Peace and Bud Light,

Posty