The Blender That Costs More Than My First Car Payment

Everyone told me to get a Vitamix. 'It'll change your life,' they said. 'You'll make soups from scratch,' they said. 'The self-cleaning feature alone is worth it,' they said.

I bought the Vitamix E310. Two hundred and ninety dollars. For a blender. My first car payment was $275. This blender cost more than a month of owning my first car.

Here is what I blend: banana, frozen berries, protein powder, almond milk. Every single morning. The same smoothie. I have never made soup in my Vitamix. I have never made nut butter. I have never made frozen dessert. I have made the same smoothie approximately 300 times.

The self-cleaning feature IS genuinely great. You add warm water and a drop of soap, run it on high for 60 seconds, rinse, done. But the Ninja also cleans easily — it just takes an extra 30 seconds with a sponge.

The Ninja BN701 is $80, has a bigger pitcher, has Auto-iQ programs, and comes with personal blend cups that I would actually use. It blends frozen fruit and ice without flinching. Twenty-eight thousand reviews at 4.6 stars vs. the Vitamix's 4.7 at 18,000.

I joined the Vitamix cult. I'm one of those people now. Someone mentions a blender and I say 'Have you considered a Vitamix?' I've become the thing I used to make fun of. And I only make one smoothie.