Celebrity Spotify Wrapped Results — What Famous People Actually Listen To | Glen Bradford

The Wrapped Results Nobody Was Supposed to See

Every December, Spotify Wrapped drops and the internet collectively reveals its musical identity. Your top songs, your minutes listened, your “listening personality” — all packaged in a colorful card designed for maximum shareability and maximum judgment.

But what would happen if celebrities had to share theirs? Not the curated image. The real data. The 3 AM guilty pleasures. The playlist names they thought were private. The podcast hours that reveal more than any interview ever could.

What follows is the fictional — but emotionally accurate — Spotify Wrapped data for 30 of the most famous people on Earth. Every listening personality, every guilty pleasure, and every playlist name is invented. But if you read them and think “yeah, that tracks” — that is the entire point.

Warren Buffett

47 minutes listened

The Compounding Listener

Listening Personality

The Compounding Listener -- you listen to one song and let it appreciate over time

Top Artist

ABBA

Top Song

Money Money Money (3 plays)

Top Genre

Silence

Peak Listening Hour

6:45 AM (accidentally hit play while reaching for the newspaper)

Podcast Hours

0 hrs — None. He reads. Podcasts are for people who cannot sit still.

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

He once let Alexa play 'Bills, Bills, Bills' by Destiny's Child. He did not skip it.

Custom Playlists

Cherry Coke and ChillSongs I Heard at the Dairy Queen in 1962Bridge Night Ambiance

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Did not share. Does not know what a shareable card is. His assistant printed it out and he used it as a bookmark.

Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson

87,000 minutes listened

The Iron Temple Priest

Listening Personality

The Iron Temple Priest -- your gym is your church and the playlist is your sermon

Top Artist

AC/DC

Top Song

Thunderstruck (1,847 plays)

Top Genre

Motivational Workout Music

Peak Listening Hour

3:30 AM

Podcast Hours

2 hrs — He was the guest on both episodes

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

Celine Dion's 'My Heart Will Go On' -- but only after a really good leg day

Custom Playlists

Leg Day DominationCheat Meal CelebrationCrying in the Squat Rack (Private)

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it with a 14-minute Instagram video reaction. Flexed during the genre reveal. The video got 47 million views.

Keanu Reeves

14,200 minutes listened

The Bench Philosopher

Listening Personality

The Bench Philosopher -- you listen to understand the human condition, not to vibe

Top Artist

Simon & Garfunkel

Top Song

The Sound of Silence (2,847 plays)

Top Genre

Existential Folk

Peak Listening Hour

11:00 PM (sitting alone on a bench, content)

Podcast Hours

340 hrs — Philosophy podcasts. All of them. He has listened to every episode of every philosophy podcast on the platform.

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

None. He owns every song choice completely. He once told an interviewer his favorite song was 'Everybody Hurts' by R.E.M. and meant it with his whole chest.

Custom Playlists

Songs for Sitting on BenchesMotorcycle Rain RidesBeing Excellent to Each Other

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it with a single tweet: 'Whoa.' It got 2 million likes.

Elon Musk

200,000 minutes listened

The Algorithmic Drifter

Listening Personality

The Algorithmic Drifter -- you do not choose music, you let the simulation choose for you

Top Artist

Changes weekly based on whatever he tweeted about

Top Song

Fly Me to the Moon (412 plays)

Top Genre

Electronic / Meme Rap / Classical (simultaneously)

Peak Listening Hour

All hours. Spotify has been running continuously since January 3rd.

Podcast Hours

0 hrs — He does not listen to podcasts. He goes on podcasts. There is a difference.

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

Baby Shark. He claims his kids put it on. The listening data says it played at 2 AM when his kids were asleep.

Custom Playlists

Starship SN-24 Launch VibesMars Colony Background Music (Draft 7)Songs Grimes Showed Me That I Pretend to Understand

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Tweeted his Wrapped with the caption 'lol.' It caused Spotify stock to move 3% in either direction depending on the hour.

Taylor Swift

104,000 minutes listened

The Self-Referential Genius

Listening Personality

The Self-Referential Genius -- your top artist is you and honestly that tracks

Top Artist

Taylor Swift

Top Song

All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (3,200 plays)

Top Genre

Taylor Swift

Peak Listening Hour

1:00 AM (re-recording session monitoring)

Podcast Hours

18 hrs — Every Taylor Swift fan podcast, under a pseudonym account

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

She does not have guilty pleasures. She has future re-recordings.

Custom Playlists

Songs I Need to Re-RecordSongs I Already Re-Recorded (Quality Check)Songs About Jake (Research)

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Her Wrapped card was itself a cultural event. Three news outlets published articles about it. One of them was the New York Times.

Jeff Bezos

6,800 minutes listened

The Two-Pizza Listener

Listening Personality

The Two-Pizza Listener -- you keep your playlists small enough that two pizzas could feed everyone who contributed

Top Artist

Journey

Top Song

Don't Stop Believin' (88 plays)

Top Genre

Dad Rock

Peak Listening Hour

10:00 AM (never before, because he does not schedule things before 10)

Podcast Hours

0 hrs — Podcasts are too slow. He reads six-page memos about music instead.

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

Lizzo's 'Good as Hell.' He has a very specific dance he does to it on his yacht. There is video.

Custom Playlists

Yacht Week 2025Songs for Gazing at Earth From SpaceDay 1 Energy

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Did not share publicly. His social media manager suggested it. He asked for a six-page memo on why.

Oprah Winfrey

31,000 minutes listened

The Sonic Oprah

Listening Personality

The Sonic Oprah -- you do not just listen to music, you hold space for it

Top Artist

India.Arie

Top Song

I Am Not My Hair (210 plays)

Top Genre

Neo-Soul / Empowerment Anthems

Peak Listening Hour

6:00 AM (during morning meditation walk)

Podcast Hours

600 hrs — Super Soul, which is her own podcast. She listens to every episode twice to check for spiritual accuracy.

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

'WAP' by Cardi B. She heard it once at a dinner party, Shazamed it, and has not spoken about it since.

Custom Playlists

SuperSoul MorningYou Get a Song! And You Get a Song!Montecito Sunset Walk

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it on Instagram with a caption that was somehow both a music review and a life lesson. It made 40,000 people cry.

Bill Gates

9,400 minutes listened

The Methodical Cataloger

Listening Personality

The Methodical Cataloger -- you have rated every song on a 1-10 scale in a private spreadsheet

Top Artist

Weezer

Top Song

Buddy Holly (74 plays)

Top Genre

90s Alternative Rock

Peak Listening Hour

7:00 PM (on the treadmill while watching a lecture about malaria)

Podcast Hours

280 hrs — Radiolab, but he fact-checks each episode afterward

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

'MMMBop' by Hanson. He heard it in 1997 and it never fully left his brain.

Custom Playlists

Think Week SoundtrackSongs That Were Popular When I Was Already a BillionaireTreadmill TED Talks (With Light Background Music)

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it on his blog with a 2,000-word review of his own listening habits, including three book recommendations tangentially related to music theory.

Snoop Dogg

175,000 minutes listened

The Perpetual Vibe

Listening Personality

The Perpetual Vibe -- you have never once listened to music that was not a vibe

Top Artist

Snoop Dogg

Top Song

Drop It Like It's Hot (1,100 plays)

Top Genre

West Coast Hip Hop / Smooth Jazz / Cooking Show Soundtracks

Peak Listening Hour

4:20 PM

Podcast Hours

50 hrs — True crime podcasts, exclusively. He finds them relaxing.

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

The entire 'Frozen' soundtrack. He knows every word to 'Let It Go.' He sang it at a barbecue.

Custom Playlists

4:20 DailyCooking with Snoop (Stirring Music)Songs Martha Stewart Showed Me

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it with a 30-second video of him nodding slowly and saying 'that's beautiful, cuz' at his own stats.

Martha Stewart

22,000 minutes listened

The Curated Perfectionist

Listening Personality

The Curated Perfectionist -- every song in your library has been personally vetted like a dinner party guest list

Top Artist

Andrea Bocelli

Top Song

Con Te Partiro (340 plays)

Top Genre

Classical Crossover / Opera / Garden Ambiance

Peak Listening Hour

5:30 AM (while arranging fresh-cut peonies)

Podcast Hours

12 hrs — She only listens to her own interviews on other people's podcasts to make sure they used the right photo

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

'Gin and Juice' by Snoop Dogg. She listens to it while actually drinking gin and juice. She finds this hilarious.

Custom Playlists

Pruning the RosesDinner Party: Course ThreePost-Prison Renaissance

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it with a photo of the Wrapped card printed out and placed on a hand-thrown ceramic plate with a sprig of rosemary. The presentation was immaculate.

Gordon Ramsay

41,000 minutes listened

The Controlled Explosion

Listening Personality

The Controlled Explosion -- your music mirrors your personality: loud, intense, and somehow still precise

Top Artist

Rage Against the Machine

Top Song

Killing in the Name (890 plays)

Top Genre

Aggressive Kitchen Energy

Peak Listening Hour

6:00 PM (dinner rush)

Podcast Hours

4 hrs — He tried one cooking podcast, shouted corrections at his phone for 20 minutes, and deleted the app

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' by Israel Kamakawiwoole. He listens to it after service with his eyes closed.

Custom Playlists

IT'S RAW (Pre-Service Hype)Knife Skills and Bass DropsCrying Over a Perfect Risotto (Private)

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it on Twitter with the caption 'FINALLY some good content.' He then criticized Spotify's font choice.

Dolly Parton

52,000 minutes listened

The Joyful Constant

Listening Personality

The Joyful Constant -- you are the music. The music is you. There is no separation.

Top Artist

Dolly Parton

Top Song

Jolene (900 plays)

Top Genre

Country / Bluegrass / Pure Joy

Peak Listening Hour

5:00 AM (she writes songs before breakfast and listens to them by lunch)

Podcast Hours

0 hrs — She does not listen to podcasts. She is too busy writing songs about listening to podcasts.

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

Nothing. Dolly Parton has never felt guilt about a single thing in her life and she is not starting now.

Custom Playlists

Songs I Wrote This MorningSongs I Wrote YesterdaySongs Jolene Would Listen To (Character Research)

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it with a handwritten note that said 'It costs a lot of minutes to look this cheap.' Somehow it was the most charming thing on the internet that day.

Mark Zuckerberg

28,000 minutes listened

The Optimized Listener

Listening Personality

The Optimized Listener -- you have A/B tested your playlists and the control group lost

Top Artist

Daft Punk

Top Song

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (620 plays)

Top Genre

Electronic / Synthwave / MMA Walkout Music

Peak Listening Hour

6:30 AM (during jiu-jitsu warm-up)

Podcast Hours

200 hrs — AI research podcasts, but he skips to the parts about him

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

'Call Me Maybe' by Carly Rae Jepsen. He heard it at a company party in 2012 and it embedded itself permanently.

Custom Playlists

Meta Morning MindsetJiu-Jitsu Flow StateSongs My AI Recommended (Testing)

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it exclusively on Threads. Nobody saw it.

Adele

66,000 minutes listened

The Beautiful Wreckage

Listening Personality

The Beautiful Wreckage -- you listen to music exclusively to feel things that would hospitalize most people

Top Artist

Adele

Top Song

Someone Like You (4,100 plays)

Top Genre

Devastating Ballads

Peak Listening Hour

2:00 AM (crying, but in a productive way)

Podcast Hours

90 hrs — Relationship advice podcasts. She listens ironically. Or does she.

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

'Cotton Eye Joe' by Rednex. She cannot explain it. She does not try.

Custom Playlists

Songs That Made Me Ugly Cry (Ranked)Vegas Residency WarmupDrinking Wine Alone and Thriving

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

She posted her Wrapped and it somehow made people emotional. Her top song being her own song made everyone say 'honestly, same.'

Ryan Reynolds

33,500 minutes listened

The Comedic Curator

Listening Personality

The Comedic Curator -- every song in your library is either a bit, a reference, or both

Top Artist

Wham!

Top Song

Careless Whisper (550 plays)

Top Genre

Ironic 80s / Deadpool Energy

Peak Listening Hour

11:00 PM (writing sarcastic Instagram captions)

Podcast Hours

15 hrs — True crime, but he narrates along in his head with commentary

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

He has no guilty pleasures because he leans into every choice with full deadpan commitment. His most-played non-ironic song is 'Fix You' by Coldplay.

Custom Playlists

Deadpool 4 Pitch Meeting SoundtrackAviation Gin Sipping HourSongs Blake Banned from the House

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it with a fake ad for Aviation Gin embedded in the screenshot. It got 8 million impressions and technically counted as brand content.

Queen Elizabeth II (Posthumous Account)

0 minutes listened

The Eternal Pause

Listening Personality

The Eternal Pause -- your music has stopped but the queue lives on

Top Artist

N/A

Top Song

N/A (0 plays)

Top Genre

The account has been silent since September 2022

Peak Listening Hour

N/A

Podcast Hours

0 hrs — N/A

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

According to palace sources, she once asked a footman to play 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA at a private dinner. That is all we know.

Custom Playlists

Corgi Walking MusicJubilee BangersSongs One Tolerates

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

The account has not been active. Spotify keeps it up as a memorial. The last thing in the queue was Handel's 'Water Music.' Somehow this is perfect.

LeBron James

72,000 minutes listened

The Pre-Game Ritualist

Listening Personality

The Pre-Game Ritualist -- your playlist is not optional, it is load-bearing infrastructure for your entire performance

Top Artist

Jay-Z

Top Song

Public Service Announcement (980 plays)

Top Genre

Hip Hop / R&B / Pre-Game Intensity

Peak Listening Hour

5:00 PM (exactly two hours before tip-off)

Podcast Hours

120 hrs — Business podcasts, plus every episode of his own shows

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

'A Thousand Years' by Christina Perri. He plays it after wins. He has never confirmed this publicly.

Custom Playlists

Tunnel Walk DominationYear 22 and Still HereWine and Film Study (Mellow)

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it with a caption referencing his legacy. Quote-tweet ratio was 4:1. Debate ensued about whether his Wrapped was better than Jordan's would have been.

Michael Jordan

55,000 minutes listened

The Competitor

Listening Personality

The Competitor -- you do not listen to music for enjoyment, you listen to prove you have better taste than everyone else

Top Artist

Earth, Wind & Fire

Top Song

September (740 plays)

Top Genre

Funk / Soul / Competitive Rage

Peak Listening Hour

7:00 AM (on the golf course, winning a bet)

Podcast Hours

0 hrs — He does not consume content. He is the content.

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

The Space Jam soundtrack. He listens to it more than he will ever admit. He still thinks R. Kelly's 'I Believe I Can Fly' is about him.

Custom Playlists

And I Took That PersonallyGolf Course Intimidation MixSongs From When I Was Clearly the Best

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Did not share it. Then saw LeBron shared his. Then shared his own with the caption 'Six rings.' The internet imploded.

Tim Cook

0 minutes listened

The Platform Loyalist

Listening Personality

The Platform Loyalist -- you would rather listen to nothing than use a competitor's product

Top Artist

N/A

Top Song

N/A (0 plays)

Top Genre

Apple Music Exclusive

Peak Listening Hour

3:45 AM (but on Apple Music)

Podcast Hours

0 hrs — Apple Podcasts only. Obviously.

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

Unknown. All listening data is exclusively on Apple Music. He has a Spotify account only because someone gifted him a subscription in 2015. He has never opened it.

Custom Playlists

He does not have Spotify playlistsHe has Apple Music playlistsThis is an Apple Music household

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

His Wrapped card was completely blank. Apple PR released a statement clarifying that Mr. Cook listens exclusively on Apple Music and his year was 'very musical.' No further details were provided.

Beyonce

95,000 minutes listened

The Standard

Listening Personality

The Standard -- you are the benchmark by which all other listening is measured

Top Artist

Beyonce

Top Song

TEXAS HOLD 'EM (2,200 plays)

Top Genre

Beyonce (it is its own genre now)

Peak Listening Hour

Classified

Podcast Hours

0 hrs — Beyonce does not listen to podcasts. Podcasts listen to Beyonce.

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

She does not have guilty pleasures. She has influences. Everything she listens to becomes important by association.

Custom Playlists

Renaissance World Tour Setlist (Final Final FINAL v12)Songs for the Beyhive (Testing)Jay's Picks (Under Review)

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Did not share. Does not need to. Someone at Spotify leaked that her listening data is 'classified at her request.' This somehow made her more iconic.

Nicolas Cage

110,000 minutes listened

The Unhinged Romantic

Listening Personality

The Unhinged Romantic -- your listening history looks like five different people are fighting for the aux cord and all of them are you

Top Artist

Wagner

Top Song

Ride of the Valkyries (1,600 plays)

Top Genre

Operatic Chaos / Film Scores / Death Metal

Peak Listening Hour

3:00 AM (method listening for an upcoming role)

Podcast Hours

400 hrs — Every conspiracy theory podcast available. He takes notes.

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

'Barbie Girl' by Aqua. He says it reminds him of 'the duality of man.' Nobody has asked him to elaborate.

Custom Playlists

Preparing to Steal the Declaration of IndependenceGhost Rider Night DriveSongs That Match the Energy of Bees

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it on every platform simultaneously with the caption 'I am all of this and none of this.' It was retweeted 500,000 times.

Zendaya

48,000 minutes listened

The Effortlessly Cool

Listening Personality

The Effortlessly Cool -- your taste is so good it makes other people question their entire library

Top Artist

Frank Ocean

Top Song

Ivy (890 plays)

Top Genre

Alt R&B / Indie / Impeccable Taste

Peak Listening Hour

10:00 PM (winding down after a 14-hour shoot)

Podcast Hours

60 hrs — Fashion history podcasts and the occasional astrology deep dive

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

'Barbie Girl' by Aqua -- but she insists it is 'camp appreciation' and she is correct

Custom Playlists

Euphoria Energy (Off Set)Tom Sent Me This (It's Fine)Late Night Drive Through LA

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it casually on her Instagram story. It set three music trends within 48 hours. Frank Ocean gained 200,000 followers.

Guy Fieri

62,000 minutes listened

The Flavor Blaster

Listening Personality

The Flavor Blaster -- your music taste is loud, unapologetic, and pairs well with a pulled pork sandwich

Top Artist

Smash Mouth

Top Song

All Star (1,400 plays)

Top Genre

Flavortown Rock / BBQ Anthems

Peak Listening Hour

12:00 PM (noon, while eating something from a drive-in, diner, or dive)

Podcast Hours

30 hrs — Food science podcasts, but only episodes about smoke rings and bark formation

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

'My Heart Will Go On' by Celine Dion. He plays it when a restaurant on DDD closes permanently.

Custom Playlists

Flavortown Freeway CruiseTriple D Tasting SoundtrackSongs That Go Hard at a Tailgate

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it with a photo of himself giving the Wrapped card a bite. The card was printed, laminated, and placed next to a rack of ribs. It was the most Guy Fieri thing that has ever happened.

Barack Obama

38,000 minutes listened

The Annual Playlist President

Listening Personality

The Annual Playlist President -- you release an official curated playlist once a year and it shapes the cultural conversation

Top Artist

Stevie Wonder

Top Song

Signed, Sealed, Delivered (310 plays)

Top Genre

Soul / Jazz / Presidential Dad Rock

Peak Listening Hour

8:00 PM (after Michelle goes to bed, he puts on jazz and reads)

Podcast Hours

160 hrs — His own podcast on Spotify, which he listens to for quality control, plus Pod Save America

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

'Hotline Bling' by Drake. He did the dance at a state dinner. Footage exists. It is classified.

Custom Playlists

Summer Playlist 2025 (Official)Oval Office Late Nights (Throwback)Songs for Writing Memoirs

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Released it as part of his annual year-end playlist tradition. Music journalists analyzed it for political subtext. There was none. He just likes Stevie Wonder.

Post Malone

160,000 minutes listened

The Genre Defier

Listening Personality

The Genre Defier -- your top genres make no sense together and that is exactly the point

Top Artist

Bob Dylan

Top Song

Knockin' on Heaven's Door (1,100 plays)

Top Genre

Country / Folk / Classic Rock (not what you expected)

Peak Listening Hour

4:00 AM (strumming an acoustic guitar on the porch)

Podcast Hours

200 hrs — History podcasts. He can tell you about the War of 1812 in surprising detail.

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

He does not believe in guilty pleasures. He has covered Hank Williams at arena shows. He played beer pong at the Grammys. Shame is not in his vocabulary.

Custom Playlists

Porch Pickin' at 4 AMSongs My Tattoo Artist Showed MeSadboy Hours (Country Edition)

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it and people were genuinely surprised his top artist was Bob Dylan. He responded with a 45-minute Instagram Live of him playing 'Blowin' in the Wind' on acoustic guitar. It was actually incredible.

Anna Wintour

18,000 minutes listened

The Editor-in-Chief

Listening Personality

The Editor-in-Chief -- you have removed every song that does not meet your standards, and your library is a 47-song capsule collection

Top Artist

Chopin

Top Song

Nocturne in E-flat Major, Op. 9 No. 2 (520 plays)

Top Genre

Classical / Chamber Music / Runway Tempo

Peak Listening Hour

6:15 AM (in the car to the office, sunglasses on)

Podcast Hours

3 hrs — She listened to one fashion podcast, found a factual error, and has not returned to the medium

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

Unknown. If she has one, it has been redacted from the data. Her team says she 'enjoys a range of music.' This tells us nothing.

Custom Playlists

Front Row OnlyMet Gala Entrance CurationSeptember Issue Deadline (Focus)

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

She did not share it. Her assistant printed it. She looked at it over her sunglasses for 1.5 seconds and said 'fine.' This was interpreted as high praise.

Doja Cat

130,000 minutes listened

The Shapeshifter

Listening Personality

The Shapeshifter -- your listening history has no pattern because you have no pattern and that is the pattern

Top Artist

Radiohead

Top Song

Everything in Its Right Place (980 plays)

Top Genre

Art Pop / Experimental / Internet Chaos

Peak Listening Hour

3:00 AM (scrolling the internet, becoming a new version of herself)

Podcast Hours

0 hrs — She does not listen to podcasts. She is the podcast.

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

'Who Let the Dogs Out' by Baha Men. She made a TikTok with it that got 90 million views.

Custom Playlists

New Era Loading...Songs for Shaving My Head (Again)Producer Sent Me 47 Beats (Reviewing)

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it, deleted it, re-shared it with a different caption, deleted that, then posted a completely unrelated photo. Classic.

Matthew McConaughey

44,000 minutes listened

The Long Game Listener

Listening Personality

The Long Game Listener -- you do not skip songs, you let them breathe, because that is what life is about, man

Top Artist

Willie Nelson

Top Song

On the Road Again (680 plays)

Top Genre

Outlaw Country / Texas Blues / Philosophical Campfire

Peak Listening Hour

9:00 PM (in an Airstream, somewhere in Texas, with no destination)

Podcast Hours

250 hrs — Philosophy and self-help podcasts, but he pauses every 3 minutes to journal his thoughts

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

'MMMBop' by Hanson. He says it is 'an underrated meditation on impermanence.' He was not joking.

Custom Playlists

Alright Alright AlrightGreenlights Road TripSongs for Journaling in the Desert

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it with a handwritten caption that read 'Life is not about the minutes listened. It is about whether you were present for them.' It was the most McConaughey thing imaginable.

Billie Eilish

88,000 minutes listened

The Quiet Storm

Listening Personality

The Quiet Storm -- you listen at a volume that would register as silence to most people, yet somehow it consumes your entire being

Top Artist

Billie Eilish

Top Song

BIRDS OF A FEATHER (3,400 plays)

Top Genre

Dark Pop / Whisper Core / Studio Playback

Peak Listening Hour

Midnight (obviously)

Podcast Hours

40 hrs — Climate change podcasts and ASMR, sometimes simultaneously

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

'Walking on Sunshine' by Katrina and the Waves. She has never publicly acknowledged this. The data does not lie.

Custom Playlists

Unreleased Demos (Do NOT Share Finneas)3 AM Thoughts but Make It MusicSongs That Sound Like the Color Blue

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it with no caption. Just the image. It got 12 million likes. Gen Z understood. Everyone else pretended to.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

35,000 minutes listened

The Governor of Gains

Listening Personality

The Governor of Gains -- you alternate between classical waltzes and songs that make you want to deadlift a car, and there is no in-between

Top Artist

Johann Strauss II

Top Song

The Blue Danube (520 plays)

Top Genre

Viennese Classical / 80s Action Soundtracks / Pump-Up Rock

Peak Listening Hour

5:00 AM (at Gold's Gym, where else)

Podcast Hours

80 hrs — His own daily newsletter audio version, which he narrates himself

Guilty Pleasure (the song they skip when someone is watching)

'I'll Be Back' -- but it is a techno remix someone made and he listens to it unironically because it is literally about him

Custom Playlists

Pumping Iron ReloadedVienna to Venice BeachMotivation for Crushing Your Enemies

Did They Share Their Wrapped?

Shared it with a video of himself saying 'My Spotify says I listened to 35,000 minutes. That is 35,000 minutes of being fantastic.' It was the most motivational Wrapped share in history.

The Awards Nobody Asked For

Wrapped Superlatives

Because every Wrapped season needs awards, and these celebrities earned them.

Most Minutes Listened

Elon Musk (200,000)

He did not listen to 200,000 minutes of music. He forgot to close the app.

Fewest Minutes Listened

Warren Buffett (47)

Forty-seven minutes. The man made $150 billion listening to silence.

Most Plays of a Single Song

Adele (4,100 plays of her own song)

Listening to yourself cry is either self-care or a cry for help. With Adele it is both.

Best Playlist Name

The Rock: 'Crying in the Squat Rack (Private)'

The (Private) tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.

Most On-Brand Guilty Pleasure

Martha Stewart: 'Gin and Juice' by Snoop

She listens to it while drinking actual gin and juice. Legend.

Most Concerning Listening Pattern

Nicolas Cage: Wagner at 3 AM

He calls it 'method listening.' Everyone else calls it a wellness check.

Best Platform Loyalty

Tim Cook (0 minutes on Spotify)

He would rather listen to nothing than use a competitor's product.

Most Self-Referential

Taylor Swift (top artist: herself)

Her top genre is literally 'Taylor Swift.' Spotify had to create a new category.

Best Use of Wrapped as Content

Ryan Reynolds (turned it into a gin ad)

The man cannot post anything without it becoming brand content. It is a gift.

Your Wrapped says more about you than your resume ever will.

Warren Buffett listened to 47 minutes of music and made more money than everyone on this list combined. Tim Cook listened to zero minutes because he will not use a competitor's product. Keanu Reeves played “The Sound of Silence” 2,847 times and somehow that is the most emotionally healthy thing on this page. Your Spotify Wrapped is a mirror. Look into it. Accept what you see.

Frequently Asked Questions

Yes, these are fake. No, we will not apologize. Here are your questions, answered.

Are these real Spotify Wrapped results?

No. These are entirely fictional and written for comedy. Spotify Wrapped is a real annual feature that shows users their listening stats, but the celebrity results on this page are fabricated for humor. That said, Warren Buffett absolutely does listen to 47 minutes of music per year and nobody can convince us otherwise.

What is Spotify Wrapped?

Spotify Wrapped is an annual feature that Spotify releases every December. It shows each user their most-played songs, artists, genres, total minutes listened, and a 'listening personality.' It has become a massive cultural event where people share their results on social media. This page imagines what those results would look like for 30 celebrities.

Why does Warren Buffett only have 47 minutes?

Warren Buffett is famously low-tech. He used a flip phone until 2020, watches CNBC, reads physical newspapers, and spends most of his day reading annual reports. The idea of him using Spotify for less than an hour all year -- and mostly by accident -- felt extremely on-brand. Three plays of 'Money Money Money' by ABBA is probably generous.

Did Tim Cook really get 0 minutes on Spotify?

This is a joke about platform loyalty. Tim Cook is the CEO of Apple, which operates Apple Music -- a direct competitor to Spotify. The idea that he would have a completely blank Spotify Wrapped because he exclusively uses Apple Music is comedy rooted in corporate reality. His real listening habits are unknown, but they are definitely not on Spotify.

What is a Spotify listening personality?

Spotify Wrapped assigns each user a 'listening personality' based on their habits -- things like 'The Adventurer' or 'The Replayer.' In this article, we invented custom listening personalities for each celebrity that reflect their public persona. Warren Buffett is 'The Compounding Listener.' Keanu Reeves is 'The Bench Philosopher.' The Rock is 'The Iron Temple Priest.'

Why does Elon Musk have 200,000 minutes?

200,000 minutes in a year is about 139 days of continuous listening, or roughly 9.2 hours per day every single day. The joke is that Elon does not actually listen to that much music -- he just leaves Spotify running 24/7 because he forgot to close the app. Combined with the fact that his top artist 'changes weekly based on whatever he tweeted about,' the portrait is of someone whose Spotify account is as chaotic as his Twitter feed.

Is Dolly Parton's listening personality accurate?

Dolly Parton has written over 5,000 songs and wakes at 3 AM to write music. The idea that her Spotify is full of her own music -- not out of vanity, but because she is literally writing and reviewing new songs constantly -- is probably the most realistic entry on this entire page. Her playlist called 'Songs I Wrote This Morning' is barely a joke.

Who had the funniest Wrapped on this page?

That is subjective, but the staff favorites are: Tim Cook's completely blank card, Warren Buffett using his as a bookmark, Nicolas Cage listening to Wagner at 3 AM as 'method listening,' and Martha Stewart placing her printed Wrapped card on a hand-thrown ceramic plate with a sprig of rosemary. Anna Wintour looking at hers for 1.5 seconds and saying 'fine' is also chef's kiss.

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CelebritySpotify Wrapped

The Wrapped Results Nobody Was Supposed to See

Warren Buffett

Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson

Keanu Reeves

Elon Musk

Taylor Swift

Jeff Bezos

Oprah Winfrey

Bill Gates

Snoop Dogg

Martha Stewart

Gordon Ramsay

Dolly Parton

Mark Zuckerberg

Adele

Ryan Reynolds

Queen Elizabeth II (Posthumous Account)

LeBron James

Michael Jordan

Tim Cook

Beyonce

Nicolas Cage

Zendaya

Guy Fieri

Barack Obama

Post Malone

Anna Wintour

Doja Cat

Matthew McConaughey

Billie Eilish

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Wrapped Superlatives

Frequently Asked Questions

Are these real Spotify Wrapped results?

What is Spotify Wrapped?

Why does Warren Buffett only have 47 minutes?

Did Tim Cook really get 0 minutes on Spotify?

What is a Spotify listening personality?

Why does Elon Musk have 200,000 minutes?

Is Dolly Parton's listening personality accurate?

Who had the funniest Wrapped on this page?

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